My mind, having been poisoned by scurrilous academics, was filled with the despicable philosophy of anti-Americanism, which caused me to always blame America first, then try to arrange the facts to fit my assumption of America's wrongdoing.

Oh, it feels so good to repent my sins.

Please know that I have already begun to right my course. I have chucked my old business cards, the ones that said "Rick Mercier, America hater, copy editor." And I have set next to my computer screen a lovely little American flag, which--though it was made in communist China--surely will help reinforce my loyalty to this, the greatest country in the history of the world.

Some of you may wonder what it was like to be an America hater. Well, it's too wretched a tale to delve into deeply, but imagine this: You're a young American, thinking you're doing the right thing by gathering as much information and as many perspectives as you can about U.S. foreign policy, then drawing conclusions based on what you think is intellectually and morally reasonable.

Imagine, brothers and sisters, you don't think there's any evil inherent in this, you think you're just being a smart fellow. But, at the same time, you're also more than a little smug, telling yourself you're better than others because you haven't limited yourself to the range of opinions deemed acceptable by the politicians, the hacks who work for the corporate media, and all the militaristic, know-nothing jingoists across the land.

Ah, it's hideous to look back on such depravity and arrogance. But I have to admit, even though I've pulled back from the edge of the abyss, my torment does not abate. For now I wonder, what will I do if I should start to doubt one of my government's foreign policies? Can a patriot criticize his government's actions abroad?

And even if he can, how will I know the difference between a permissible criticism, and one that is a remnant of the virulent strain of anti-Americanism that infected me? Will I, alas, always be
a "recovering America hater"?

Oh, the fear that I will backslide! Oh, the rage that I feel toward those cretins of the academy who filled me with such nonsense!