SHE SITS in Xander's room, giving him commands. "Touch red," she says, her voice firm to show she means business.

Then suddenly her voice changes. "Way to go! You are one smart cookie!"

I can't see the two of them, but through her voice I picture her ruffling Xander's pale blonde hair or patting him gently on the back, giving him the affection he craves.

Xander laughs--a sound I never grow tired of hearing--and I think she has just tickled him.

Her name is Ann Beverly and she arrived in our home nearly two years ago to work with Xander, my 6-year-old son. Xander is severely autistic, and the one-on-one work is his best chance at learning things.

I was a little leery of sending Xander to his room with a stranger. Back then, he was terrified of new people. But Beverly worked wonders with him and quickly became a staple in our family, working not only with Xander but also with his younger brother, Ben, who has a milder form of the disorder. She's also worked with me and my husband, giving us tips on living with autism.

Beverly is one of the good things about life with autism. And there are others out there like her. One of the best things about my sons' disabilities are the people I meet through them.

From special-education teachers to therapists to bus drivers, I have been blessed to get to know some of the best people in the world. I will never forget the boys' first preschool teacher, who guided me through the hardest time of my life--the period right after I learned that Xander had autism. Or the pediatrician who hugged me when I burst into tears upon discovering that Ben also had the condition. Or the man at Burger King who explained to his son that even though Xander can't talk, he still needs friends.

I will always be grateful that, through autism, I have been able to see the best of my parents, watching them go way beyond the call of duty as grandparents. The love that they have for my sons is an amazing, powerful force. I have been able to see my relatives rally around a young child who can't speak for himself, donating money for therapy and time to research new techniques and treatments for autism.