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In praise of fathers who care
In praise of dads.
Date published: 6/8/2003

IN HONOR OF ALL THOSE Daddies out there, Happy Father's Day a little early.

Mother's Day seems to get more emphasis, doesn't it? I don't usually see many ads for "Father's Day Brunch" or a Father's Day special on roses. However, I see every day what a crucial role fathers have in their children's health, development and happiness.

Unfortunately, there are more and more children without fathers in their homes or in their lives. A recent Free Lance-Star article by Janet Marshall noted that 30 percent of Virginia children are born to single mothers, and in Fredericksburg the rate approaches 50 percent.

This trend has been skyrocketing in the last 30 years all over the country. A small percentage of these are educated, financially stable women who choose to be single mothers, and have other resources to replace an absent father.

But most of these are unplanned babies born to women who lack the resources to give their children all that they would like them to have. Children born to single mothers are more likely to have no medical insurance, be below the poverty level, be abused and neglected, and have difficulty in school.

As the divorce rate has also skyrocketed in the last 30 years, more and more kids born to married parents end up with single parents. In too many cases, fathers "drop out" at this point and become peripherally involved in their children's lives, if at all.

Despite these disturbing trends, I've seen many positive changes in fatherhood in my lifetime and even in my 15 years in medicine.

Fathers are becoming more and more involved in the care of their children. Even in families where the mother stays at home, fathers are doing more child care than they used to (and it's a good thing, because I've got Girls' Spa Weekend coming up).

Whereas many men used to see child care as "baby-sitting" and "helping my wife out with the kids," I'm starting to see more men take primary responsibility in caring for their children.

In reality, parents are not classified as "head parent" and "assistant parent." From the day of conception or adoption, both parents have an equally important, albeit different, role.


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Date published: 6/8/2003



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