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Fathers should be allowed in their own children's lives

Fathers should be allowed in their own children's lives

Date published: 6/30/2004

Thank you for printing such an important article ["After the divorce, the pain for noncustodial dads goes on and on," June 20] on Father's Day.

The commentary stated that 5 million American children have their access to the noncustodial parent interfered with or blocked by the custodial parent each year.

Is that looking out for the best interest of the children, or is it looking out for the best interest of having "control"?

Fathers go to court, many times spending thousands of dollars just wanting the courts to listen. They want to see their children; they want the custodial parent to stop interfering with visitation.

The majority of noncustodial parents are fathers. The courts may grant them 80 days out of the year, days broken up into every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer. Meanwhile, the mother (usually the custodial parent) spends 285 days a year with the children. Though most work, they are able to interact with their children daily.

Some fathers have more time with their children because they live nearby. Many are not so fortunate. Their children have moved with the custodial parent many hours away or to another state. These fathers can't make it to sports games, parent-teacher nights, or be in their child's life on a regular basis.

I have seen and listened to fathers from both sides: a father who wasn't concerned whether he saw his children or not, and another father who hasn't seen or heard his daughter's voice in more than a year. Yet the latter never stops showing his love and devotion for his child through letters, prayers, child support, etc.

Many fathers, like the ones in Glenn Sacks' commentary, want what is rightfully theirs: their right to be a "key" element in their children's life. Isn't that what's best for the children?

Mary L. Connolly

Stafford

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Date published: 6/30/2004