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By now, you must all be aware of Britney's engagement--if you aren't, then welcome back to earth.
On Friday, her rep confirmed that she and backup dancer Kevin Federline were engaged, but no dirty details were givenso I'll just make them up. I'm sure the proposal went something along the lines of:
"Kevin, you know I've given up on trying to be a decent human being for some time now. Underachievement is a real turn-on for me, and as a backup dancer, I don't think there is anyone lower on the celebrity food chain."
"So let's you and I get married--howsaboutit? I mean, it's only a little piece of paper; it doesn't really mean anything."
And of course, being a lowly backup dancer who needs to fund his future child-support payments, Kevin accepted.
Mary-Kate checks inIn a moment very reminiscent of an after-school special, Mary-Kate Olsen has checked herself into rehab for an eating disorder.
According to zap2it.com, the Olsen clan has banded together in full support of Mary-Kate.
Ashley reports, "She's hanging in there. She is taking the time she needs for herself right now. Right now is especially a good time, right before school, so she can get healthy."
Though the official reason for treatment was "health-related issues," People magazine deduced that the reason is for anorexia--and anyone who's caught a glimpse of Mary-Kate lately would concur.
But you know what? I think the whole "eating disorder" is a cover-up for her glue-sniffing addiction.
Yeah, I know she's all skin and bones--but compared to Lara Flynn Boyle, Mary-Kate is Michael Moore. It's obvious that she's a glue sniffer--just look at her nostrils!
But all kidding aside, I must give the Olsens major props for owning up to her problem and not blaming it on a "fast metabolism."
Who we be? Arrested!Keeping up with his Thug For Life persona, DMX was arrested at Kennedy Airport over the weekend.
According to MTV, the rapper was charged with attempted robbery, criminal impersonation and criminal mischief when he and a cohort allegedly tried to jack a car posing as federal agents.
I propose we set up a charity fund for celebrities, because apparently they aren't making enough money.
Honestly, who do you think you are, DMX? After selling a bazillion records, you no longer have the luxury of going incognito when you commit a crime!
Hollywood Outkasts?Selling out or buying in? You be the judge.
According to msn.com, Outkast's Andre 3000 and Big Boi will be starring in their own musical for HBO.
The flick will be a $15 million Prohibition-era piece, due to start filming later this summer.
Frankly, I'm over their scene. Once you get your own "Driven" special on VH1, it's only downhill from there.
BASSEY ETIM-EDET is a student at Mary Washington College.