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Wanna be the next "American Idol"?
Prepare to stand around like cattle for ungodly amounts of time.
First, you wait in line for a red wristband that marks you as a contestant, different from the yellow one for friends and family.
Then, you wait for the bathroom, where you try to freshen up--if that's possible--after you and thousands of strangers spend 24 hours in a room as big, and as smelly, as three gyms.
And while you wait for your shot at stardom, you try to keep your vocal chords lubricated, so you stand in line at one of the few concessions open and pay $3 for a bottle of water.
That's what about 21,000 singers and their supporters found out this week when the Fox television show held tryouts at the Washington Convention Center.
At least 16 of the estimated 9,000 who sang their hearts out were from the Fredericksburg area. And no, they didn't get their 30 seconds of fame in front of TV judges Simon, Paula and Randy.
They auditioned for show producers, who then sent the "very good and the very bad" to the next level, to executive producers.
Those who made it to the third round were supposed to sing for Simon and others today and tomorrow. Washington is one of eight cities where tryouts are being held for "American Idol" Season 4.
Nobody from our area made it past the first round, or if they did, we don't know about it. You try keeping up with the locals, when "American Idol" workers act like Nazis and keep you corralled in a roped-off area. They won't even let you into the two giant-sized holding pens where the contestants are--you guessed it--also being herded like cattle.
"I've done a lot of auditioning, and that line was the most horrible experience of my life," said Sarah Snow, a 28-year-old mother from King George County.
Snow arrived at the Convention Center after midnight Tuesday and didn't audition until 8:30 p.m. Wednesday.
Last year, she would have been too old for this kind of nonsense, but "American Idol" extended the age limit this season to 28. The age limit had been 24. Contestants have to be at least 16.
Snow's husband, Chris, said she just had to try out, since the auditions were this close. She's been singing in community and dinner theaters for years and knows all about "cattle calls," but the "American Idol" experience was unlike anything she'd seen.
A fellow Snow met in line, who auditioned last year, said Washington's setup was awful, compared to what he'd seen in Atlanta.
Even a few of the "American Idol" officials said Washington was the worst city they'd ever visited, in terms of procedures.
"It's chaotic, it's a nightmare," said one man, who covered his identification badge when he realized he was talking to the press. "It's never like this."
At least people had interesting things to look at while they waited.
There were so many different colors and styles of hair, you would have thought you were at a Clairol convention. You saw brick red, Elvis black, lemon yellow--and one moplike looking combination of black-and-white hair that, let's hope, was a wig.
There were just as many fashion statements: high-top tennis shoes with stiletto heels; camouflage shirts, shorts and bandannas and frilly tuxedo tops. Some girls looked like they were dressed for the prom, and others, with too much lace and too little length, looked like they just stepped off 14th Street.
(And if you don't know what that means, think "oldest profession.")
There were a lot of "Idol" look-a-likes: girls with hoop earrings and short-cropped hair, like this year's winner, Fantasia, and plenty of guys who could fill Ruben Studdard's shoes--and his pants and his shirts.
One teenager walked around in Pillsbury Doughboy pajama pants. A grandfatherly looking man carried pillows and sleeping bags and wore a shirt that said: "I came, I saw, I took a nap." Females of all ages wore ponchos, made from fuzzy wool, with bright neon stripes or in solid pink.
At times, the Convention Center sounded more like the Mormon Tabernacle as people broke into song for anyone, anywhere. And if a crew pointed a camera their way, they went wild.
Sounds echoed through the high ceilings of the center, and some voices were so powerful, you wondered: "Is it live, or is it Memorex?"
(And if you're too young to remember that TV ad, just forget it.)
Most of the contestants from Fredericksburg enjoyed the "American Idol" experience, even though there was a little bit of disappointment--and a lot of fatigue.
"I had a blast," said Samm Potter, a 16-year-old junior at Massaponax High School. "Everybody was so nice."
She played cards and made new friends to pass the time. She had totally prepared herself for Simon--"I know he's a tough critic, but I respect him"--and accepted the fact she wouldn't meet him--this year.
Nicole Dove and Pamela Hughey, both in their late teens, work at Lee's Hill Hair Cuttery and tried out together, with their two sisters. "You need to go with other people," Dove said. "It was fun, with everybody chilling."
Josh Kelly, a 19-year-old who won the Colonial Forge Idol contest in 2003, said the two days he spent at the Convention Center were like a vacation. Sleeping on the hard concrete floor was a little rough, but he didn't have to work, and he, too, met a lot of cool people.
Being a star is his lifelong dream, and he was encouraged by the judge's words. "The guy said, 'Just because you don't make it to the next round doesn't mean you can't sing,'" Kelly said. "I might not have the image they're looking for, but I can't change how I look."
Lauren Arroyo, a 20-year-old from Stafford, tried out with three other high-school friends. She and Mimi Preva, Sarah Hall and Jenn Hodges sang in the Stafford Regional Choral Society this summer and talked each other into trying out, just so they could say they'd done it.
"It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing," Arroyo said yesterday morning. She was back at work in Northern Virginia, in an accounting office, and having a hard time staying awake. "I don't think I would do it again. It was enough exhaustion for one time."
To reach CATHY DYSON: 540/374-5425 cdyson@freelancestar.com
