Laura Bland moved into her dorm room at the University of Virginia on a Saturday. By Monday, she was begging her parents to visit--or bring her home.
"I was just distraught," Bland said. "I couldn't fathom staying even a week."
Bland lost her appetite. She cried. She decided U.Va. wasn't for her and thought of transferring to Virginia Commonwealth University in her hometown of Richmond.
"I was shocked by how homesick she was," said her twin sister, Abby, then a freshman at Mary Washington College.
Not wanting to dump her woes on people she'd just met, Laura Bland didn't say much to people at U.Va. about her homesickness.
Now a U.Va. senior, Bland gritted her way through it by doing what counselors and others often advise: She got busy.
She joined an acting group and auditioned for a school play. She went out with other freshmen. And she rarely allowed herself to wallow alone in her room.
After two or three weeks, her homesickness faded when she got a role in the play.
"Almost instantly, just having the structured rehearsals and meeting friends who are my best friends to this day, everything just totally changed," Bland said. "When I had structure and something I loved, then it was OK."
'A whole new level' of stressThe transitions from high school to college are numerous: no home-cooked meals, no teachers demanding attendance and no real schedule except a class or two a day.
The freedom is just what many high-schoolers crave. But with it comes responsibilities that can overwhelm teens drilled to need permission for everything.
The sudden independence, the abundance of options and the knowledge that no parents are around to bail them out is more than some students can handle.
About 10 percent of college students visited campus counseling centers in 2002, according to the National Survey of Counseling Center Directors.
The survey doesn't distinguish between students treated for serious disorders and those who needed one-time advice or reassurance.
The number of students with serious psychological problems is on the rise, center directors report. Medication is helping students with mental health problems succeed more than ever at getting into college.
"But then going to college presents a whole new level of stressful situations and responsibilities that they may not be ready to handle," said Cory Clark, a staff psychologist at the College of William & Mary.
Students such as these often line up counseling appointments on campus before school even starts, Clark said.
But other students are caught off guard by the problems that emerge during their adjustment. This can be especially true of students who are genetically predisposed to anxiety or depression but never had problems surface at home, Clark said.
Then there are students like Bland. The homesick ones. They're sad and anxious and lonely and will probably be fine in a few weeks--probably.
What's tough for parents and students is figuring out whether homesickness is something fleeting or will evolve into a more lasting problem.
"I was 100 percent sure that the cause was being in a new environment, and that once I got used to it, I would be OK," Bland said.
But she didn't always feel confident, and her parents were on the receiving end of many distraught phone calls.
Weepy calls home are normal for freshmen adjusting to college life, said Barbara Wagar, director of the Psychological Services Center at The University of Mary Washington.
Parents should worry more if the level of despair persists.
"If you're getting frantic phone calls in a month, that may be more significant than if you get a call on move-in day," Wagar said.
Parents should try to assess whether their children are functioning well enough to eat, sleep and attend classes. They should also listen to the tone of their student's voice.
"Does it sound like your child [when she's] under stress, or does it sound like something more serious," Wagar said.
If it sounds more serious, students should be encouraged to seek professional help, Wagar and other college counselors say. Students can receive free one-on-one counseling from psychologists on campus. Group counseling also is available.
Ashley Blasland, a resident assistant at U.Va., said she wishes more students confided in her. Listening and trying to help students adjust is her job.
She also wishes homesick students would confide more in each other. Last year, she said, the freshmen in her hall seemed relaxed and confident. But months later, many said they were terrified the first few weeks of school.
"If only everyone would tell everyone else, then they would probably find comfort in each other," Blasland said.
Bland said she feels for freshmen just now adjusting to college life.
"I'm sure everyone, no matter how confident you are, has a little homesickness because you were familiar with where you were," Bland said.
Being away from her twin sister made her adjustment especially hard.
For most new students, the biggest sources of stress are keeping up with classes and making friends, Blasland said.
"I hear from students all the time that everybody else has friends," Wagar said. "I say, 'You're comparing your insides to their outsides. Inside, they may be all jittery, too.'"
A relief valveMany students, of course, take to college life right away. But even the most well-adjusted face pressures that can tax their emotional health.
From the first day of school, students feel pressured to pass tests, make friends, join clubs--and go to keg parties.
"There's an immense pressure, especially at the beginning of the school yearthat college is all about drinking alcohol and partying," U.Va. resident assistant Meghan Bernier said.
Some students get trapped in a cycle of drunkenness and hang-overs that does nothing for their grade-point average or mental health.
Wagar, the Mary Washington counseling center director, said alcohol, poor nutrition and lack of sleep and exercise can all contribute to feelings of depression.
"There's nothing that will help [students] quickly overcome the anxiety of being in an unfamiliar situation," Wagar said. "But there are things that will make it much worse."
Most colleges and universities try to help students create healthy lifestyles so they don't need to visit counselors.
At W&M, for instance, counselors hold weekly, guided relaxation sessions. Dozens of clubs and groups exist on campuses so students can do what they enjoy--and meet like-minded people.
Abby Bland, Laura's sister, said the transition might be easier for freshmen if they weren't told so often that going to college would be the best experience of their lives.
It usually turns out that way, she said. But even people like her, who didn't get very homesick, don't exactly feel settled the first few weeks of school.
"Everybody says it's going to be the best thing ever," Bland said. "And at the very beginning, of course, it's not the greatest thing ever."
Like her sister, Abby said the key to adjusting is joining a group.
"If you don't do anything, you'll just sit and dwell," Bland said.
For her, a Christian fellowship group provided a support network from the very first days.
"When I came to school, instantly that started up, so all these people were surrounding me and so excited," Bland said. "Laura had to wait for [play] tryouts."
The wait was tough. Before she made friends through acting, Laura Bland called home almost every day. She hadn't been one of those kids who couldn't wait to leave home.
"A lot of people are ready for something different," Bland said. "I was fine with where I was."
Bland said her dad told her at one point that if she still hated U.Va. after a few weeks, she could transfer. Hearing that was such a relief.
Bland said she didn't want to feel stuck. But she didn't really want to leave, either.
"I didn't want to be the girl whose parents came to pick her up," Bland said.
To reach JANET MARSHALL: 540/374-5527 jmarshall@freelancestar.com