ONLINE AUCTION GIANT eBay has become the source for all sorts of odd, off-the-wall items.
In fact, it seems like at least once a month I see a news story about some offbeat product someone has decided to sell on the site. I've seen a real Soviet MiG-29 fighter jet, a piece of toast with a marking that supposedly was the Virgin Mary's image and a Santa doll that's flatulent when you pull his finger.
After seeing a story about a particularly odd auction item the other day, I discovered a new twist on the eBay phenomenon.
It seems that a few weeks ago, a woman decided she would list the ghost of her father for sale on eBay. The story goes that the woman's son thought his grandfather haunted their house, and he was terrified. The mother decided that the easiest way to allay her son's fears was to auction Pop's spirit form on eBay. In order to make sure the winning bidder got something to "prove" he or she had purchased their very own poltergeist, the woman promised to send her dad's walking cane along at the end of the auction. The auction ended at $75,000, though I seriously doubt that money ever changed hands.
Well, this auction caught the eye of a reporter, who wrote a story about it. Next thing you know, the eBay copycats began to strike. The ghosts of fathers all over the place began seeping and moaning their way out of the woodwork. My search for "father's ghost" on the auction site yielded several exact duplicates of the original auction, offering a cane and a spirit for a few bucks.
Other sellers have added items to the cane. One, for instance, has a jaunty purple hat his father wore.
Another seller says that her cat is afraid of her father's ghost. Her father, according to the auction, was "an avid cross-dresser." I'm not sure if that contributed to the cat's fears, but the winning bidder will get a picture of the cat as part of the deal.
One clever person decided to combine the Virgin Mary sandwich with the ghost dad. He'll make a grilled cheese sandwich with the picture of your father's ghost on it. He promises delivery within one week of payment, though the image quality is not guaranteed. He says that "imaging on grilled cheese sandwiches is not an exact science."
One family is selling the boogeyman under their daughter's bed. He apparently lives in a cigar box. I'm not positive why the daughter has a cigar box under her bed, or why they didn't just move the box under some other family member's bed.
My favorite father's-ghost-related item, however, is the sport coat and tie being sold by a "bright young college student from Wisconsin." He says his father is not dead, but "can be a pretty bloodcurdling guy if he's in the wrong mood." He also mentions that while the coat and tie are not haunted, his dad shook singer Tiny Tim's hand while wearing the coat, and Tiny Tim was a "pretty creepy looking guy."
Unfortunately, nobody has bid on it yet.
To reach CHRIS MULDROW: 540/368-5053 cmuldrow@fredericksburg.com