|
Tibby Middleton (left) and Barbara Kenny play their guitars together at home. They're leaving Virginia because of a law that may invalidate legal documents they have to protect each other. |
When Fredericksburg artist Suzanne Moe first picked up her video camera to make a documentary about her friends, she never could have imagined the paths it would take her down.
She wanted to tell the story of Barbara Kenny and Tibby Middleton, a lesbian couple who'd been a vital part of the Fredericksburg community for years. They were her friends, and a Virginia law that went into effect last year made them feel they had to leave the state they'd called home for decades.
The documentary was intended to explain to friends at the Unitarian Universalist fellowship, which Moe and the couple both attend, why they had to leave.
But the small documentary turned into a big project, and now Moe's film is being distributed around the state and the country.
"Inform, educate and activate," Moe said. "That is our mission."
Kenny, 65, and Middleton, 66, were at first reluctant to be the focus of the documentary.
They've been together for 40 years and lived a quiet life. Few people even knew they were a couple. They'd never been activists.
In fact, when The Free Lance-Star first wrote about them in January, they were afraid to have their last names or images used, because they feared the response.
But a law they said was intended to "squash and to hurt us" changed their lives.
Kenny and Middleton decided to leave the state after an addition to the Affirmation of Marriage Act became law in July 2004. It says that people of the same sex can't enter into legal agreements "purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage."
Depending on interpretation of the law, it could mean that legal arrangements same-sex couples make to protect one another--such as medical directives and wills--could be called into question.
Kenny has a brain aneurysm, and because of that, the couple were afraid to stay in Virginia to see how the new law would be interpreted and enforced.
Much of the couple's courage in allowing the film's release, Middleton said, is a result the response they received after The Free Lance-Star story was published.
"People went out of their way to support us, tell us we were brave, to say they were having doors opened for them or members of their family because of what we'd done," Middleton said. "We were floored how many people had a sister, daughter, friend
"We felt the need to continue down that path."
Moe also was encouraged by the public support.
"The Fredericksburg community really held them up," she said. "Barbara and Tibby were strengthened by the flow of compassion and support, and were able to see the good their story could serve by sharing it with a wider audience. I admire their courage."
The couple's family also was supportive of sharing the story with more people.
But first Moe had to copyright her material and get countless releases.
Everyone Moe needed permission from granted it.
"I'm still amazed, when you put something out there, who stands up and supports justice," she said.
Then there was the matter of having the DVDs produced. Moe had burned about 100 copies on her computer, one by one. It took hours. For the larger distribution, she knew she needed help, and a local company, Triple Disc, provided it.
The time spent on the documentary also was an issue. Moe is a self-employed artist, and for four months, she dedicated all her time to making the documentary, sacrificing her income to do it. Having never made a film, she had to learn filming, editing and sound techniques as she went along.
"Everything took a back burner to getting this done," she said.
And as soon as it was done, it gained momentum. After a screening of the documentary at the local Unitarian fellowship in December, Equality Virginia, the state's leading gay-rights group, showed it during its lobbying day at the General Assembly in January.
Moe's main goal right now is to use the DVD to educate Virginians about the laws in their state, and to do it in time to rally voters to defeat a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage or same-sex unions by any other name.
The General Assembly passed the amendment this year. If it passes again next year, it could go before Virginia voters as soon as November 2006.
"We want to educate people about the injustice before citizens get to vote on their leaders and the constitutionality of this law," Moe said. "So there's an urgency there. It's time to inform people so they can make educated votes."
But there is a need for awareness outside Virginia, as well, she said.
"We want to share the story on a national level because, if it can happen here, it can happen anywhere," Moe said. "Laws like this, with such oppressive consequences, can slip in with very little notice."
Moe is selling DVDs online and in local stores, and about 500 already have been purchased. In addition, the local Unitarian fellowship's Social Justice Committee is working to distribute it to other congregations, public libraries and colleges and universities in Virginia.
"As Unitarians, we believe in the inherent worth and dignity of any human being," said Lee Criscuolo, chair of the committee. "Anything we can do to make sure people are afforded that dignity they deserve, that's something we're going to get involved in. Not to mention that these are members of our congregation, who we know and care about."
Moe and her partner, blues musician Gaye Adegbalola, also have developed an educational program that they're pairing with the film for public screenings.
Moe also is looking into options with public television, film festivals, and other avenues for getting the documentary seen.
"The project has been blessed by Barbara and Tibby to share this with as many people as we can," she said.
Kenny and Middleton have sold their house in Fredericksburg, and are now only days away from their move to Maryland.
But because of Moe, their story will live on long after they've moved.
Middleton said she and Kenny are glad they helped put a human face on a controversial issue.
"We're at a point in our lives where we can't be fired," Middleton said. "Yes, we can be driven from the state, but we can afford to go somewhere else. Not everyone can.
"Someone's got to say, 'I'm the person you're talking about, and you know and love me.'"
Moe also has personal reasons for wanting the story told. She said the Virginia law, and its impact on her friends and her community, was a wake-up call for her.
Moe said she's spent 14 years, since she told her family she was gay, convincing them that she was OK.
"I've told them not to worry about me. That I'm strong. I'm fine. This is who I am," she said. "In the last six months, I've needed to say, 'Hey Mom and Dad, things aren't all OK. I am vulnerable now and I need your support. I need you to stand up for me.'
"And it's important for the gay and lesbian community as a whole to ask for support, because as a community, we are now vulnerable."
"A Love Story in the Face of Hate" is available online from sumoe.com. Information about upcoming screenings also will available on the Web site.
Locally, the DVD is being sold at Corky's, The French Pastry Shoppe and The Wounded Bookshop.
The next public screening in the area is scheduled for 7 p.m. April 1 at the Bull Run Unitarian Universalist fellowship, 9350 Main St., Manassas. Visit bruu.org for more information.
To reach LAURA L. HUTCHISON: 540/374-5485 lhutchison@freelancestar.com
