SNAKES ARE NOT my favorite
There were three sightings here within the past few days, and while two may have been the same little critter, No. 3 was definitely bigger than the others. Regrettably, I believe all of them were most likely copperheads, and those guys are not totally harmless, you know.
Still, Mother Nature has a plan, and all the snakes out there have a job to do, and that's mostly ridding our world of pests such as mice, rats
It must be understood, too, that the snakes are not invading our territory, but rather it's the other way around.
I haven't noticed any mice around here, but there is an owl hooting nearby nearly every night, so there must be a food source of some kind that's drawing these predators to our area. I do enjoy the sound of that owl but I'd eliminate the food foundation if I could identify and find it, and maybe the snakes would then move on to other parts.
I may not like them much, but I hold no absurd fear of snakes, either, for nearly all of them I've ever encountered would rather flee than fight. We're not crazy about spiders and bees around these parts, either, but since my wife is extremely allergic to some bug bites and all bee stings, we don't share our nearby world with them if we can help it.
Snakes are another matter, and so long as they keep to themselves and leave us alone, they may pass by unharmed.
It's another matter if they decide to come into the house, as one did some years ago.
I was managing my oldest daughter's softball team and both of us were away at ball practice when my wife saw it going across the rug in our family room. She quickly got a 5-gallon bucket and put it over the snake to trap it. My youngest daughter was perhaps 4 or 5 years old at the time, and my wife instructed her to go outside and gather "some big rocks" to put on the bucket to hold the snake secure in there. Our little one quickly returned with five small "stones" she could hold in her one tiny hand.
We still laugh about that, but my youngest daughter rapidly acquired a better understanding of the definition of "big rock" from her mom and finally completed her task, and that snake was eventually securely trapped.
My best friend at the time then happened to telephone at that very moment, and my wife related her current snake adventure to him. "I'll be right over," he told her, and his gentlemanly valor and male courage demanded nothing less than to help a lady in distress while her own husband was away.
Unfortunately, this guy also has a most outrageous fear of snakes. I mean, he is uneasy even looking at a picture of any snake, let alone being anywhere near one and being called upon to purge a live snake from his best friend's family room, held presently concealed under a bucket, was probably at the very limits of his manly resolve.
Still, he was the man and had to do it.
My friend didn't live far away and arrived to shield my wife from this horrible creature in only a few minutes.
He also came armed with his 12-gauge Remington shotgun.
"Now, you quickly lift up the bucket," said this buddy to my wife, "and I'll shoot him before he can get away."
"Wait a minute," my bride interrupts, "what kind of damage will that gun blast do to my rug?"
"Oh, it will blow a section out about a foot around," he explained.
"Let's hear what's Plan 2," my wife countered.
After some deliberation, they hatched a strategy to carefully slide the bucket, with the snake still underneath, to the back door and then quickly lift the bucket and use a push broom to brush the snake outside.
They even practiced their roles a time or two with another bucket and then the actual exercise began. The plan went off flawlessly.
The snake was abruptly pushed out onto the patio, and my friend then dispatched the creature with a shovel set up nearby for exactly that task.
An hour or so after the adventure ended, my oldest and I came home from practice, and my wife and other daughter quickly regaled us with their breathtaking tale of reptile exploits and my friend's indisputable heroics.
I checked out the dead snake. It was a harmless garter snake that wouldn't and couldn't hurt you on its worst of days.
So, I got into my truck and went over to my buddy's house. When he answered the door, I breathlessly told him all about the wonderful "gift" I had obtained for my oldest daughter just that afternoon at the pet store. "It was real expensive," I related, "but she's been wanting a pet snake for so long I finally saved up enough to buy it for her."
The look on my friend's face at that moment was precious.
"We need to talk," he said.
"Got to go," I yelled back, running now to my truck.
"I can't wait to get home and surprise her."
"We really need to talk," I could hear coming back to me.
If you see a snake out in the yard just leave it alone and let it go.
Then again, if one gets inside your home, I can let you have my buddy's phone number. He still has that Remington, and the man is an excellent shot.
JIM KUNDRESKAS of Louisa County near Lake Anna has been an outdoors writer for more than 20 years. Contact him at zbasser@aol.com.
' MY FRIEND didn't live