YOU HAVE THAT fuzzy ultrasound picture in your hot little hands.
Congratulations! It's a boy, or a girl.
You can finally tell anyone who asks, and many who don't, what you are having.
Now what are your going to name that child?
Welcome to a whole new world of stress.
I'm still searching for a baby name for my son, due in September.
Of course, you have to take care of the essentials: Make sure it's a name that can't be too easily made fun of, or that the initials don't spell something inappropriate.
I've spent more hours than I care to admit perusing Web sites and looking up names in books. My husband and I have come up with, and eliminated, a slew of possibilities. Some have sounded too weird, others too ordinary. We once loved Jacob, now it's just too popular. I like the name Isaac, but do I love it? Can I get over the name's "Love Boat" connection? At one point, we were set on Prine, after a singer my husband loves, but now, hmm, we're not so sure. I once thought Eli was wonderful, then I heard
Some days I think the name's meaning should be most important. Other times I'm convinced
So what's the deal? Are parents today more anxious about baby naming?
If so, that probably has to do with the increased burden of choice, said Cleveland Kent Evans, a psychology professor at Bellevue University in Nebraska and president of the American Name Society. Most parents aren't automatically naming children after relatives anymore, he said. Anyone who's ever struggled to pick out a breakfast cereal at the store knows that too many choices can be just as bad as too few.
Laura Wattenberg, who wrote The Baby Name Wizard, said parents are looking for names that will reflect their child's individuality.
"There's much more of a sense of a name as an individual identity that sets you apart, rather than gives you something in common with people around you," she said.
Wattenberg said she became obsessed with baby names when pregnant with her first child. She had trouble finding books that didn't just give the meaning of names, but talked about the associations and historical trends behind the names. On her Web site, babynamewizard.com, parents can look up the historical popularity of names and read a weekly blog that covers the latest news and trends in baby names.
Parents are looking for names that feel fresh, but familiar, she said. That desire is leading the top trends, she said: biblical or "antique" names, such as Jacob; foreign names, particularly with Celtic origins like Aidan; and last names as first names, such as Parker.
The biggest trend Evans said he's seen is the increasing variety of names. The percentage of children receiving the top 10 names has been cut in half in just the last 15 years, he said.
Increased variety doesn't necessarily mean more parents are searching out completely unique names. The popular names aren't quite as popular now, Evans believes, because parents can so easily find out what the names are and avoid them if they want to.
"What most people really mean when they claim to want a 'unique' name is that they'd like to find a name that everyone has heard of, everyone likes, but no one has--a completely impossible task!" Evans wrote in an e-mail.
After all, it isn't really that difficult to come up with a unique name, he pointed out. You can make up your own name, he said. Names from our parents' and grandparents' generation tend
Even names that seem unusual tend to fit in with the trends, Evans said. For instance, Nevaeh, which shot in popularity a couple of years ago, seems unique but actually has the currently popular long-A vowel sound, heard in names such as Ava, he said. The name also seems "cool" to parents, he said, because it's Heaven spelled backwards.
As names become more subject to fashion, he said, the importance of sounds will only increase. After all, the surest way to come up with a name that's different, but still fits in, is to find one that sounds similar to what's popular. Witness the huge increase in boy's names that have two syllables and end in N, he said: Ethan, Owen, Landon, Logan, Jackson, Gavin, Ian, Ashton, Carson, Mason.
Other popular sounds include the "kay" sound, Wattenberg said, such as Kaylie and Kaylin. Vowels in general are also on the upswing, she said, as seen in the rise of names such as Isaiah and Elijah.
So happy name hunting. And if you feel yourself really getting stressed, remember these words of advice from Wattenberg:
"At the end of the day, if you feel you'd love that [name] to be your own name, it doesn't matter how many other kids have the same name, it will be right for your family," she said.
Just so you can't say we didn't warn you, here's a list of the 10 most popular baby names in 2004, from the Social Security Administration. More information can be found on the administration's Web site at ssa.gov/OACT/baby names.
Boys: Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Matthew, Ethan, Andrew, Daniel, William, Joseph and Christopher.
Girls: Emily, Emma, Madison, Olivia, Hannah, Abigail, Isabella, Ashley, Samantha and Elizabeth.
KIM BAER is a freelance writer and soon-to-be mother of two, who lives in Spotsylvania County. You can e-mail her at dabaersbk1@netzero .com.