A STRONOMY IS REAL science and so, can be argued,
Go ahead, sharpen your pencils now to write your letters of challenge; I unwaveringly stand my ground that every single aspect of astrology and all those daily horoscopes in so many newspapers across this land are nothing more than utter nonsense.
Why do you think they're so often printed near the comics?
One of my best friends recently had a horrible day with regard to her job. It was so very awful that it would easily rank in her top five most terrible days at work. Here's her horoscope from two different newspapers for that very day: "Pay your own way. People are in a generous mood tonight but even so, chip in on expenses" and "You're used to breaking new ground, but today's the day to let others do it for you. Good leaders learn when to delegate."
Uh-huh. What in the world do those two examples of ridiculous information have to do with my friend pondering whether to quit her current profession? Right now, that's a really important question for her. Even if the horoscope on that day did have something in it that was job-related, it would be only pure coincidence.
As I understand it, the "science" of astrology is based upon the fact that heavenly bodies such as our sun, moon and some nearby planets out there exert a kind of force upon our bodies, and the exact nature of that energy is critically dependent upon precisely when we were born.
Right. Millions of people who started their lives within the Gemini dates are pretty much all alike?
That's crazy.
Astrologers point out the fact that the sun and moon do wield some influence every day over our oceans here on Earth, in the form of tides.
That's not disputed.
However, they then carry their belief a little further by insisting that since the human body is mostly water, those same forces must affect us, too.
That's like saying that if you eat a pizza you become Italian, or being born under Leo makes you lionhearted and courageous.
I don't think so.
The 12 signs of the zodiac, time-wise, are all messed up anyway on today's calendar, and that must drive devoted astrology followers crazy.
Astrology is an ancient obsession, and when those zodiac dates were set so long ago with regard to which constel- lation the sun was residing in, nobody bothered to take into consideration the wobble of Earth on its axis.
Bona fide scientists today know that quiver is for real, and it causes Earth to change zodiac signs every 2,500 or so years. If you look in the paper today, the dates are April 20 to May 20 for people to be born into the Taurus family. In reality, those dates should more accurately be May 15 to June 21, for that's when the sun is really there now, in the year 2005.
Today, we even have a 13th constellation in the zodiac and it's called Ophiuchus, or "the serpent bearer." This is really true, for astronomers now recognize 13 constellations to the zodiac and not just those more familiar 12 the astrologers out there acknowledge.
How many folks in the Sagittarius community do you think realize today they were actually born under Ophiuchus instead?
I'll bet darn few of them, but the dates for Ophiuchus are Nov. 30 to Dec. 18, in case you're actually interested.
So, let's review. Horoscopes have zero reliability and, besides that, the whole line of analysis with astrology is flawed because the signs of the zodiac are no longer where they were when this hogwash all got started.
Like a popular cold meat, my friends, it's all baloney.
Here's what's so alarming. Millions of people believe in this stuff, really trust it, too, and I'm not talking exclusively idiots here.
You may have heard of Joan Quigley. Ms. Quigley was a prominent personal astrologer for lady named Nancy Reagan.
I'm sure you're familiar with Nancy.
We all know who Nancy's husband was, too, and not a bad word could ever be uttered about that admirable man.
No, sir, not unless you really want to start a frightful fracas does anyone today dare tarnish the image of our beloved 40th president but it is accepted knowledge that he did put a lot of faith in astrology.
One of his trusted advisers even admitted that his own calendar had certain dates circled in green (good days coming) and red (don't make any important decisions now) and the president actually paid attention to that stuff.
(This would be a perfect time to insert a Bonzo joke, but I'm not going there.)
Suffice it to say, having the knowledge that the president of the United States, arguably the most powerful man on Earth, consulted an astrologer before making vital decisions is a chilling thought.
Still, that doesn't give astrology any kind of scientific or truly reliable substantiation, but rather it's just an endorsement from one man. Granted, one very noteworthy man, but still just one man.
Lots of folks once believed there were witches in Salem, Mass. Burning innocent women at the stake didn't make that any more true than having an official astrologer in the White House gives astrology any real legitimacy.
Congress never confirmed Ms. Quigley anyway.
There is hope for us, though. When I punched "astrology" into my Yahoo server on the Internet, it indicated that there were 18,600,000 entries to peruse.
Yeah, if I had maybe 300 years to look at them all.
However, when "astronomy" is put in there, Yahoo gave a much bigger number: 30,300,000. Something real versus just fake claptrap won easily. Even "Shakespeare" beat astrology, with 19,400,000.
That's heartening to know, too.
So, what's your sign?
JIM KUNDRESKAS of Louisa County near Lake Anna has been an outdoors writer for more than 20 years. Contact him at Zbasser@aol.com.