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No beef with Texas Steakhouse

September 1, 2005 1:06 am

By NANCY DEARING ROSSBACHER and STEPHEN W. SYLVIA

For THE FREE LANCE-STAR

She: A friend recently remarked that I hadn't dished out enough criticism in our recent reviews. After all, the job of a restaurant reviewer is to be brutally honest about service and cuisine.

He: Which we are. We just happened to luck out with some creditable restaurants of late.

She: But I don't want to be the milquetoast of food reviewers, so I thought: If there was ever a place I could review with cutting acerbity and knife-sharp snideness, it would be a chain steakhouse. You know, the kind that is self-consciously casual in a barn-boardish way and mooing with cow-motif decor.

Texas Steakhouse & Saloon, one of 30 franchises operating in Virginia, West Virginia and North Carolina, debuted a year ago in Central Park, and it looked to be a promising candidate for carping.

I rubbed my hands with evil glee as we pulled up at the entrance of Texas Steakhouse & Saloon on a recent weekday evening. Look out, cranky critic comin' through.

He: The expected decor did not disappoint. In evidence were Texas flags, Texas license plates, and even an armadillo--plastic or stuffed, I know not.

I was mildly surprised that the hostess didn't greet us with a "Howdy!" Instead, she cheerfully and efficiently led us to one of the scores of wooden tables between the padded wall-hugging booths and the stool-surrounded bar.

She: A smiling jeans-clad server arrived within moments and took our drink order, and in the time it takes to say "Yee-haw!" we had a frosty mug of Blue & Gray draft ($2.99) and a crisp Tanqueray gin and tonic ($5.75). As I played with a clever cardboard dial-a-drink game on the table, I realized I was having a good time.

This wasn't going at all as planned.

He: I started out with a crock of French onion soup ($3.59), which, while rich with spoon-clinging cheese, was unremarkable.

She: Then my house salad arrived. It was plentiful, colorful and garden-fresh, and a splendid barbecue-tinged ranch dressing was served alongside.

He: My Caesar salad was similarly fresh and far from complaint-worthy, but it's the barbecue dressing I recommend.

Then the entrees arrived. Texas Steakhouse is not for the calorie or cholesterol counter, and many dinner selections are offered with sides. Not just sides of rice and vegetables, but sides of ribs, shrimp and a crab cake.

So, I went for a full roundup: a 9-ounce filet ($18.49) with sliced mushrooms ($1.99) and a side of garlic shrimp ($5.99). The filet was rare, precisely as ordered, and the half-dozen medium-size shrimp were tender and awash in a smooth, thick, garlicky sauce. On the side was a large, fluffy, foil-jacketed sweet potato.

The far, far too salty mushrooms were the only misstep.

She: My plans for a sarcasm-laced review continued to spiral down the tubes when I discovered that my 12-ounce New York strip ($16.49) was delivered at a perfect medium rare.

A side of ribs ($4.99) proved to be seven meaty, slow-cooked, slide-off-the-bone short ribs in a thick, tomato-based bath. I was grateful for the oversized, linenlike paper napkins.

The small bliss potatoes served alongside were buttery and boiled to gentle perfection, and the warm, fluffy yeast rolls also merit mention. I asked our server what the record consumption was on the rolls, and she said she thought she might have broken the record that day. I can see why.

He: Wooed by our server's description of the Texas Hershey brownie ($3.49), I caved. This dessert proves beyond a doubt that everything is, in fact, bigger in Texas. Two scoops of chocolate-drizzled vanilla ice cream appeared to be the only things keeping the thick, rich brownie from overtaking the entire dinner plate.

She: By that time I had no choice but to surrender my initial intent to be scathing, and I was delighted rather than disdainful when I saw that the walls of the ladies' room were painted to resemble the black and white spots of a Guernsey cow. Texas Steakhouse has fully embraced its inner kitsch.

He: Last thoughts: an above-average chain steakhouse with pleasant service in an upbeat atmosphere. Although there is a full-service bar, Texas Steakhouse is firmly family-oriented.

Our server, who turned out to be an authentic Texan from San Antonio, reported that weekends can be a little hectic, so weekdays are likely the best bet for an echo of the attentive service we received.

She: The best-laid plans went awry. In all the right ways.

Nancy Dearing Rossbacher and Stephen W. Sylvia publish a Civil War magazine together. She likes to cook. He likes to eat. To reach Rossbacher and Sylvia, e-mail them at editor@nstcivilwar.com.