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More trouble for Tomkat

"Homewrecker" can now be added to the list of names the media has been calling Tom Cruise .

According to MSNBC.com, Katie Holmes ' family is extremely upset that the couch-jumping, fist-pumping actor has sullied the reputation of their little Catholic princess.

Martin Holmes, Katie's father, is livid that his daughter will be partaking in a shotgun wedding and even more furious that Tom has been converting Katie to Scientology.

This will make for some very tense holiday get-togethers. It's been reported that after Mr. Holmes scolded his daughter for getting herself knocked up, he then turned to Tom and said, "You're no good."

Mr. Holmes also has advised the couple that they best be getting married in a jiffy.

But maybe it's not too late for Katie Holmes. If her parents could possibly snatch her back from the deadly grips of Scientology, maybe they could send Katie on "vacation" to a small farm in Washington state, where she can have her baby and a nice missionary couple can adopt it.

Then Katie can come back to the public and blame the whole episode on water-weight gain and post-traumatic stress after her role in "Batman Begins."

After several weeks of denying that they were romantically linked, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn --Vaughniston, if you will--have been photographed in public, hugging and kissing and the like.

Of course, reps for the couple have refused to comment on the couple's status, which means that the pictures depict the truth.

So what do we make of this scenario? It obviously isn't true blue love like Brangelina; this is a more awkward and contrived union.

It's as if Jennifer is trying to say, "Look, Brad, someone still wants me!"

And as witty and charming as Vaughn can be, he's not exactly first choice for a revenge tryst. Jude Law would be a better one.

Actually, since older women and younger guys are very "in" in Hollywood these days, Jen ought to be calling dibs on young Harry Potter .

Critics are reeling over a recent quote from Madonna : People "are going to go to hell, if they don't turn from their wicked behavior."