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Service honors the fallen

May 22, 2006 5:16 am

By EDIE GROSS

WASHINGTON--They wore buttons, T-shirts and bracelets emblazoned with the names and faces of loved ones lost.

Pfc. Brandon Davis, My Hero

Lance Cpl. Kyle Crowley

Spc. Armando Hernandez

Daddy

They dabbed at their eyes with worn bits of tissue, and wrapped their arms around each other in solidarity.

They came from as far away as American Samoa and as close as Virginia and Maryland.

More than 3,000 family and friends of fallen soldiers gathered yesterday near the Washington Monument to honor the sacrifices of America's military.

The event, billed as "A Time of Remembrance," featured descendants of veterans from every American conflict back to the Revolutionary War.

But the focus was largely on the men and women killed in the most recent conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq--and those they left behind.

"The woman next to me, I started to get teary-eyed and she put her arm around me," said Don McGlothlin of Lebanon, Va., whose youngest son, Ryan, was killed in Iraq in November. "Her son died in the first week of the war. It makes a difference that other people know the depths of your feelings."

McGlothlin had stopped in Fredericksburg on Saturday on his way to the event to visit his aunt and meet Marine Warrant Officer Mike Fay, an artist who took pictures and recorded audio of 1st Lt. Ryan McGlothlin two days before he died.

Fay showed the elder McGlothlin photographs of his son's unit in the days leading up to the Nov. 16 fire fight in Ubaydi that killed the 26-year-old and four of his fellow Marines.

Several of the photos included pictures of Ryan McGlothlin on the ground after he'd been shot, surrounded by other Marines trying to save him.

"He was never alone, the whole time," Fay said quietly.

Confronting what happened and attending events like the one held in D.C. are all part of the healing process, said McGlothlin.

"It's a sadness that stalks you," he said. "You have to live through it before you can explain it. It's like somebody has unplugged some part of your body."

His son was two years into a doctoral program in chemistry at Stanford when he left school to join the Marines.

"I said, 'Can't you think of some way to serve your country without getting shot at in a foxhole?'" McGlothlin recalled. "He said, 'Dad, I was born into privilege. It's not up to people who are poor and don't have a choice to carry this burden.' And I didn't say another thing to him. How can you argue with that?"

Michele Carter came from Mechanicsville to honor her ex-boyfriend, Army Spc. Clarence Adams III, who died Sept. 7, 2004, in Baghdad. She brought daughter Indya, 9, who still mourns for her father.

"It's been hard. She has good moments and then, like the other day, we're sitting at the dinner table, and she starts crying," said Carter. "I say, 'What's wrong?' and she says, 'I'm just thinking about daddy.'"

Scores of children attended yesterday's event, many of them wearing the purple ribbons and gold medals signifying that they lost a parent in battle.

The program featured speeches by active-duty military and veterans and performances by the U.S. Army Band and Chorus as well as the Capitol Hill Children's Choir.

"It was very moving, I thought," said Laura Ward of Kentucky, who wore a T-shirt with Lt. Col. Mark Taylor's picture on it.

Taylor, an Army surgeon and a friend of her husband's, was killed in Fallujah on March 20, 2004. He left behind a 6-year-old son.

Maj. Brennan Carmody, who served with Taylor and now works as a surgeon at Walter Reed Medical Center, said he felt fortunate to be able to bring his young son to the service.

"It's humbling, seeing the families of the fallen," said Carmody, who spent a year in Iraq after volunteering to go.

McGlothlin's son, still angry over the events of Sept. 11, volunteered, as well.

"He thought going to Iraq was a terrible distraction [from Afghanistan]. That said, he felt there might be a lot of people over there hurting Americans if we didn't engage them in Iraq," McGlothlin said.

"He said, 'I know this is not the most popular war back home. But if you could see and hear what we've heard about these terrorists'--he called the insurgents 'terrorists'--'and what they're doing to these poor civilians, if you could see the eyes of these people who beg us to stay, no one could ever consider leaving this job partially done.'"

Adams, Carter's ex-boyfriend, was also proud to serve, she said. He'd been to Kosovo twice before being deployed to Baghdad as a gunner.

She last spoke to him on Aug. 24, 2004, when he called to wish Indya a happy 7th birthday.

Carter said she was overwhelmed--and grateful--yesterday to be among so many people who understood the loss that she and her daughter felt.

"I never understood why people get together every year for things like this. Now I understand," she said. "I'll be here next year and the year after that. I feel this is a community I belong in now. This is my family."

To reach EDIE GROSS:540/374-5428
Email: egross@freelancestar.com