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Should wedding guests go off the registry? Pros and cons Date published: 7/1/2006
IRST COMES LOVE, then comes the registry. Give or take an engaged couple, about 95 percent of brides and grooms create a wedding registry of some description, says Ginny Chilton, a wedding planner in the Fredericksburg area for 18 years, and owner of Weddings by Ginny. The trend is national. Newlyweds married a year or less reported registering at an average of 2.5 retailers, according to New York-based retail analyst The NPD Group. It's hard to find a store that doesn't offer gift registry for weddings, babies--even birthdays. But although couples spend a lot of time creating wish lists, only 33 percent of wedding gifts come from a couple's registry, according to The NPD Group. Traditional couples go with crystal, china and cookware, while more adventurous couples might ask guests to defray the cost of their honeymoon to Tahiti or make a donation to a charity. Couples entering marriage for the second time, or with established households and plenty of flatware, are registering at home-improvement stores like Lowe's and Home Depot, Chilton said. So what's a guest to do? Stick with the list, or rebel? Is it okay to defect from the registry? First, you have to find the registry. More couples are heeding the advice of Peggy Post, etiquette authority and great-granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post, who advises couples not to enclose registry information with the invitation. Rather, it should pass by word of mouth. Ask a close relative of the couple or a member of the bridal party. If you don't know any of these people, get creative. Check the Web sites of nearby department and home-furnishing stores. If nothing on the list inspires you, or there's nothing in your price range, you should feel free to give a gift of your choosing, Post wrote in a recent Wedding Channel.com column. In fact, non-registry surprises often become the most cherished gifts, she said. Plus, you have plenty of company: Two-thirds of American wedding guests are following their intuition on gift-giving. Still, think before bolting. How well do you know the couple?
1. Be respectful. No personal attacks.
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