Kelly's elopement ensures the Osbourne saga will continue, television show or not. CHRIS JACKSON/ GETTY IMAGES Visit the Photo Place

Dishing It

Croc Hunter's awe-inspiring demise; Kelly Osbourne elopes; Bobby caught 'humping around'; and Tom and Brooke make up

Date published: 9/7/2006

See you later, alligator

By now you're all aware that the "Crocodile Hunter," Steve Irwin , is dead, and, if you're not: This just in, Crocodile Hunter dead at 44.

I'm surprised at how shocked I was when I heard that he actually died. At first I was waiting for the "psyche!" But it never came and I got a little misty-eyed for that crazy guy.

What's annoying about the whole thing is the fact that everyone keeps saying he died in a freak stingray accident. That's like saying Evel Knievel died in a freak building-jumping accident.

Stingray through the heart = one tough dude! Let's give the man his propers. And as much as I would like to gibe Australia for naming him a national treasure (Really, he's the best you've got?) they're absolutely right to do so. Any man who dangles his baby in front of a croc is OK in my book.

Being an Osbourne has its perks. People are so happy that you're not in rehab that they excuse the other bonehead things you do. So when Kelly elopes with a total stranger, everyone just shrugs and says, "Oh, Kelly."

OK, maybe her parents aren't taking it that easy--according to perezhilton.com, they're actually super peeved. The Web site has confirmed that Kelly married some no-name musician after knowing him for only one week. The grand ceremony took place at an Irish music festival in a blow-up castle.

Hey, a drug-addicted brat who pawns your jewelry to make her next score, or an erratic brat with low self-esteem who marries the first guy who proposes. Lesser of two evils.

Houston, we have a Vixen

Speaking of addicts, I've never seen gossips rally for an affair like the one between Bobby Brown and "Video Vixen" Karine Steffans .

It's reported that Whitney has kicked Bobby to the curb and he's seeking solace with the Vixen.

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Date published: 9/7/2006