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The it! staff makes predictions for the coming year

Date published: 1/4/2007

While packing up the office Festivus decorations recently, the it! team made a shocking discovery. Out from beneath a pile of old CDs and pizza boxes rolled a crystal ball. Naturally, we had our staffers gaze into it and describe what they saw in store for 2007:

Sports

Cheers and beer bottles clicking will be heard throughout the land when NASCAR is finally accepted as a sport. This will cause outrage and a new system of dividing sports into different categories. Nevertheless, 2007 will be a great year for breweries and people who drive in a circle for a living.

Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron 's home-run record and then immediately retire, telling teammates, "You've seen the last of my a**." Unless, of course, he needs help with a needle.

The Redskins will make a comeback and get into the playoffs next year.

Terrell Owens will do something stupid. Again.

Ongoing protest about biases and other problems in the Bowl Championship Series will finally lead to what the NCAA has avoided for many years--a playoff. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, college football will finally have some legitimacy.

Ohio State will win both the football and basketball NCAA championships.

It! will have a sports page added to its weekly publication.

Celebrities and entertainment

Ryan Seacrest's career as "American Idol" host will end after an on-air brawl with Simon Cowell.

Bob Saget will enter the public eye once again and host a reality TV show that will own "Deal or No Deal."

People will finally realize that the "Desperate Housewives" aren't really desperate, but it's actually only the writers and producers who are desperate to think of more stupid and unrealistic problems for them to go through.

Rocky's son will step into the ring for the start of 12 years' worth of "Rocky Jr." movies.

Jack Black will finally hit it big and will prove himself as a serious actor. He will win an Oscar for his portrayal of a dynamic English teacher, à la "Dead Poets Society."

"Jackass" star Steve-O will decide to jump out of a plane without a parachute, naked and doing kick-flips in midair on his skateboard, before he lands in the water, gets hypothermia and dies.

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Date published: 1/4/2007