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Dishing It

Britney's hairy situation; J.Lo jeered; Anna Nicole's last laugh; Bridget's baby has Patriot papa; The Osbourne saga continues ...

Date published: 2/22/2007

BRITNEY'S REHAB RECAP

Last week, Britney Spears checked herself into rehab. One day later she checked herself out, went to a salon and shaved off her own hair. Then she got some tattoos on her lips. For the rest of the week she was spotted in a cheap, dollar-store blonde wig. Now, according to Perezhilton.com, she's back in rehab.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what crazy looks like.

OK! magazine claims that it was a fight between Britney and Kevin that lead to her breakdown. "They had a huge argument," says the mag. "Kevin threatened Britney that he was going to have people test her hair to find out exactly what she's been up to. She was so scared. That was what made her shave her head."

First of all Britney, your hair was so over-processed there's no way anyone could use it for drug testing.

Second, how many drugs were you doing in the first place if you feel the need to shave off your hair?

Third, the original rehab center you went to must be the worst rehab center in the world--you shouldn't have been able to just walk out. Back in my day, you would have been tranqued, then chained to a radiator in the bathroom while you detox in a corner by yourself. If you didn't asphyxiate on your own vomit then it meant you showed signs of promise for a recovery. These places are getting soft!

You know, there's nothing like a good public stoning, especially involving celebrities. But, since no one wants to go to jail for hurling rocks at rich people, it appears that mass booing has taken its place.

Enter Jennifer Lopez : proudly stumping for her film "Bordertown" at the Berlin Film Festival.

Exit Jennifer Lopez: visibly upset and nearly in tears as the audience boos her at the end of the movie. Oh, if only I could have been there to taste those delicious tears.

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Date published: 2/22/2007