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Teens' online diet can be nourishing WEB WORLD NOT AS SCARY AS YOU FEAR

October 16, 2007 12:35 am

By KIM BAER

Anastasia Goodstein has a word of advice for parents worried about their teens online.

Relax. Really.

The online world is not that scary.

Goodstein manages Ypulse.com, a blog about teen trends for media and marketing professionals.

She recently published a book for parents and educators meant to demystify teen technology.

Goodstein will be at Fredericksburg Academy next Thursday to talk about "Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens Are Really Doing Online."

The book tour is sponsored by Beinggirl.com.

In "Totally Wired," Goodstein writes about issues such as social networking, online journaling and cyber bullying.

The San Francisco resident interviewed dozens of teens and industry professionals. She also drew on her background in journalism and in producing online content for teens.

The media coverage of teens online has focused largely on the dangers, Goodstein said.

She wanted to provide a more balanced perspective. She shared her thoughts, by telephone, with The Free Lance-Star.

"I felt like a lot of the coverage was fairly negative, and a little bit sensational, in terms of what the dangers are and what most teens are experiencing," she said.

Parents often want to know the latest text message "teen speak" and how to best control where their children go online, she said. They also worry about their children losing social skills.

She advises parents not to focus on policing their children online. This approach rarely works, she said.

Filters, for instance, are great for young children, she said. But children 15 and older will learn how to get around them.

Parents are better off learning about their offspring's online life straight from the source.

Sit down with your child at the computer, Goodstein said.

Ask them to show you where they go online and who's on their buddy lists.

Talk to them about what they post, about privacy, and about any other concerns.

Set limits, too.

Texting and message-checking (hello, BlackBerry parents) can be addictive.

Parents should let their children know when to turn the toys off and focus on their work.

For example, Microsoft founder Bill Gates has said his 10-year-old daughter goes online only after she finishes her homework, Goodstein said.

His daughter is online for no more than 45 minutes on weekdays and one hour on weekends.

"Moderation is the best thing, right?" she said.

Parents worried about their children becoming zombies who make eye contact only with computer screens can also breathe easy.

Generally, teenagers are as social as ever. They often continue conversations online or through text messages that they began at school, she said.

Teens told Goodstein that their online and text-message chats make their friendships more meaningful.

"Communicating digitally is also a social skill," she said.

Some teens told her they've befriended kids online that they wouldn't talk to in school.

Still, parents should let their children know when it's important to work things out face-to-face with a friend.

More educators can take advantage of their students' interest in the online world, too, she said.

Many teachers still use computers primarily for research and PowerPoint presentations. They can do much more, she said.

For instance, Goodstein writes about a Spanish teacher who created a blog for her class. Students have to post in Spanish.

"This can encourage the shyer kids, who might not speak up in class, to participate," she said.

Being tech savvy doesn't just help a teen's social life.

These skills are paying off in the work world, too.

Business leaders who want to attract younger customers are looking for employees who know their way around Facebook and MySpace.

"Those skills are becoming a plus."

Kim Baer: 540/368-5028
Email: kbaer@freelancestar.com