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The Tyson grandchildren meet Santa on the Santa Train. Thanks to their grandparents, they enjoy treats all year long.
Jeffrey Hudson, 7, gives grandmother Debbie Tyson a hug after riding the Santa Train as granddaughter Callie (left) and her mom, Erin Knight, take a seat. Next stop: Toy store.
Debbie Tyson listens to granddaughter Callie Knight's Christmas list during their special VRE Santa Train ride earlier this month. |
Debbie Tyson is counting heads.
She's just spent an hour and a half with her five grandchildren on the Virginia Railway Express' Santa Train.
And though the Big Man seemed willing enough to bring her babies presents on Christmas morning, Tyson wants to deliver a little more instant gratification.
"Of course, they were the best-behaved children on the train," she says with a grandmother's pride. "We're going to Toys 'R' Us."
But how to fit them all in Grandma's sedan?
"I need a seven-passenger vehicle," she says.
In the end, the four oldest pile into the Grand Marquis for the trip to Central Park while 18-month-old Camden goes home with his parents.
At the store, the children carefully weigh their options, leading Grandma through a maze of Transformers and Power Rangers, Barbie dolls and Cheetah Girls.
Tyson, a science teacher at Brooke Point High School in Stafford, was a stay-at-home mom when her three daughters were little.
She was as generous with them as she could be, she said, but financially, she and her husband, Jeff, are better off now.
They're both employed. Their house is paid off. And they don't have the day-to-day expenses associated with raising children.
"If we're going to spend it, they're the ones we want to spend it on," she said of her grandchildren--Jeffrey, 7, Robbie, 6, Callie, 4, Evey, 3 and Camden.
by the numbers
Tyson's in good company. About one-third of American adults are grandparents. Together, they spend more than $30 billion a year on their grandchildren, according to Reyne Rice, a toy trend specialist with the Toy Industry Association.
That's twice what grandparents were spending on the little rugrats only 10 years ago.
And with baby boomers entering prime grandparenting years, those numbers are expected to grow.
"Baby boomers always grew up believing they could have it all, and as grandparents, it's the same thing," said Rice. "They're healthy. Most have saved and secured for retirement. And now they want to live it up and spend a little and be with their families."
While parents generally have to buy necessities--food, clothing and school supplies--grandparents often can splurge on the fun stuff. They spend up to $4 billion a year on toys and games alone, according to Rice.
Some companies, like KB Toys, entice grandparents with special discounts. Other retailers are just beginning to recognize how much shopping grandma and grandpa do, Rice said.
"I don't think everyone has really taken up an understanding of how big a market it is," she said. "But astute marketers have programs tailored to grandparents."
PAYING TO PLAY
Several local grandparents admit to indulging their grandkids a bit more than they did their own children, particularly this time of year.
All say they've earned the ability to do so.
Like Tyson, Denise Zlater was a stay-at-home mom when her daughters were young. Her husband, Bill, was an enlisted Marine.
Now, with eight grandchildren and a ninth on the way, both work for the U.S. State Department.
They're not wealthy, Zlater said. But with their extra income, they've taken their entire family on two cruises.
And after getting tired of watching her grandchildren run to someone else's backyard to play, Zlater--known as Gaggee to her grandkids--said she recently purchased an "ungodly expensive" swing set for their Lake of the Woods home.
"I wouldn't take it to the level of 'spoil,' but I've done some extravagant, expensive things," she said.
Zlater adds that it's not necessary to spend an exorbitant amount of money on the grandkids. She keeps what she calls "Gaggee surprises" on hand, mostly little items from The Dollar Store to use as treats.
Erika Beth Hilliard said she tends to shower her 2-year-old grandson with learning games.
He's got a flair for the ABC's and his colors, and he likes to quiz grandma as well.
"If I put out $15 or $19 for an educational toy, it's going to pay back in the long run," said the Spotsylvania woman. "We strictly want to buy something where I can interact with him or somebody else can play with him. I don't want to go out and buy a video and stick it in the TV and say, 'Look at that.'"
dr. toy weighs in
That interaction is key, said Stevanne Auerbach, an author and child development expert known as Dr. Toy.
"It's important for grandparents to play and be playful," she said. "It's important for us to remember how important play is in our lives."
Even assembling a toy with a grandchild can be fun, she said. Her husband bought a tricycle for their grandson and built it with him.
"He really has been fascinated ever since then with how things fit together," said Auerbach, whose Web site, DrToy.com, rates toys. "He enjoyed his bike so much more than if it had been put together for him."
Not all grandparents have the luxury of building something side by side with their grandchildren. Some see their loved ones only a few times a year.
For those, Auerbach recommends sending the grandkids storybooks along with a recording of the grandparent reading the books to them.
STAYING CONNECTED
Robert Green sees his 18-month-old grandson weekly--via the Internet and a Web cam. Green lives in Stafford. Kade lives in New Zealand with his parents.
Imported-brand baby clothes, like OshKosh B'Gosh and Carter's, are expensive there, so Green buys them at U.S. outlet malls and sends them by the crate.
"I guess it's my way of showing I'm really close to him even though I'm not there," said Green. "It's kind of neat when I see him [on video] in clothes I sent him or I see him playing with a toy I sent him. It gives me a certain connection to him."
Green said his wife, Cathie, tends to be the cooler head, shooing him out of the toy department when he's overspent his allowance.
"I've already eyed toys for older than 18 months," he said. "I'm waiting for an opportunity."
At Toys 'R' Us, each of Tyson's grandchildren picked out a special toy, including a little something for Camden.
Tyson said she and her husband enjoy treating their grandkids to camping adventures, shopping trips and the occasional dish of ice cream for breakfast.
"It's a whole different ballgame with those grandchildren," she said. "They look at you, and they just melt your heart."
Edie Gross: 540/374-5428
