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Losing a child to a senseless act of violence
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Baron P. 'Deuce' Braswell II
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Date published: 3/6/2008
AS A MOTHER, I could never fathom the loss of a child. I had always assumed my sons would bury me. I was not ready to lose my son to a senseless act of violence. On Jan. 20, 2006, the unspeakable happened. My 16-year-old son, Baron "Deuce" P. Braswell II, was murdered.
As a mother, I was not ready to envision my life without my son, and my son without life. When I saw my son, he was not warm to the touch; his body was cold. He did not open his eyes. I was not ready to comprehend that his heart had stopped beating. I was not ready to let him go. I could not believe that my son's life was taken away by a senseless act of teen violence.
I could not believe that I would never be able to hold him in my arms. I could not believe that I would never see his bright smile or hear his deep voice. I could not believe that my son was taken away by a senseless act of teen violence.
Words cannot express the pain I felt. I prayed to God for it not to be true. I prayed for God to let my son live his life, and take mine instead. I prayed for God to lift me from this deep despair, and for understanding.
Those first hours and days after Baron's death were unbearable. I sat in his room, holding his pillow, waiting for him to come in. He did not come. Myriad friends came to provide words of comfort. I gradually realized it was not a dream. My son had been taken away from me by a senseless act of teen violence.
CHERISHED MEMORIES
Baron was a junior at Courtland High School. He was a great student, superb athlete, son, grandson, nephew, brother, and friend to all who knew him. He was No. 5 on Courtland's football team. Baron epitomized the Courtland Cougars' team spirit.
Baron would have graduated last June. The Class of 2007 honored him on graduation day. I was grateful to receive Baron's high school diploma posthumously. The diploma and his class ring are enclosed in a special cabinet honoring him. He never saw these things, because his life was lost to a senseless act of teen violence.
I remember one of our last vacations, to Florida in December 2005. Baron was fitted for a tuxedo. He was excited, and looked so handsome. Baron's dad and I are divorced, but we're dedicated to our kids. Baron's dad and I were both engaged to be married, in May 2006 and June 2006. Baron was going to walk me down the aisle at my May wedding, and he was to have been best man in his dad's wedding in June.
Date published: 3/6/2008
Most recent reader comments:
3 comments have been posted.
"The Lord's compassions fail not; They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23. I know firsthand how with incomprehensible grace you have turned tragedy into blessings for so many others. I know the frustration you endured with a legal system that often times seems disrespectful of the loss suffered. You have created a tremendous legacy for "Deuce" that will save lives and hopefully help young people to understand and respect each life. You are an amazing lady.
My daughter was a friend to Baron at Courtland and she only spoke great things about him. God bless you and for being a constant source of inspiration to all of us.
I did not want to continue reading when I realized what your letter was about. As a mother of 2 teenage sons (18,16) the pain of your story could so easily be my own one day. But I am glad I did, as you are a remarkable woman with a depth of strength I cannot begin to fathom. I will join you for the Run Against Teen Violence, not only for the memory of your son, Baron, but for the future of my own. I am deeply grateful that you shared it. Bless You.
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Gwen...
(posted by
RileyAllen
, Mar. 7, 2008 3:32 pm)
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