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AS I RECALL, my Angel of
He sidled up to my mother and me--both redheads--while we
"You know you guys are a dying breed, right?" he said before shuffling off to the Self Help for Antisocial Disorders section.
It was the first we'd heard of it, but apparently the demise of the redheaded population--just 2 percent of the world--is predicted with some regularity.
The latest news reports claim we'll die out by the end of the century--no doubt with the few remaining survivors doomed to haunt the bogs of Louisiana, the ivory-billed woodpecker of the freckle-faced world.
A lesser species might be worried. But we redheads have weathered worse.
In ancient times, Egyptians would bury redheaded men alive as offerings to the gods--perhaps to the deities in charge of SPF 80 sunblock?
In the Middle Ages, we were burned at the stake for suspected witchcraft. Though if you think about it, wouldn't a real witch simply conjure up a cauldron of Nice & Easy and turn herself into a God-fearing brunette?
We've been depicted as every villain from Judas and Satan to Scut Farkus, the bully in "A Christmas Story."
And we've endured all manner of name-calling: Carrot Top. Big Red. Strawberry Shortcake.
I'd rather be dead than red in the head.
And you wonder why our tempers are short.
THE MUTANT GENE
In seventh grade, I sported an impossibly big crimson bouffant. It was the '80s after all.
The first time I walked into the cafeteria at Southwood Junior High, a ninth-grader with big ears and horse teeth spotted me and bellowed "FIIIIIIRRRRREBAAAAAALLLLL" repeatedly until my face flamed as red as my hair.
This became a daily, soul-crushing occurrence until my nemesis matriculated to high school, where I fervently prayed that well-built seniors incarcerated him daily in his own locker.
I desperately wanted to be a blonde. My eyebrows were blond. So were my eyelashes. I couldn't understand why the hair on the top of my head couldn't be.
It wasn't until ninth-grade biology that I discovered the problem: Red hair is caused by a recessive gene, one that isn't working quite right.
Since both of my parents were redheads, they had only these nonworking genes to offer their children.
In other words, my brother and I were doomed to be redheads from the start.
When I was little, it wasn't such a bummer. Grandmotherly type women in their 70s used to come up to me all the time and fawn over my tresses. If I was lucky, they came bearing candy.
As a teenager, I realized this wasn't exactly the demographic I was trying to attract.
The one I was trying to attract--the muscular, blond neighbor kid who mowed his lawn shirtless--wasn't interested in a girl who resembled Pippi Longstocking.
Let's face it: With my red hair, blue eyes, blindingly white skin and freckles, I was basically a walking genetic mutation. All I needed were gills.
EXTINCTION LONG WAY OFF
I guess I didn't have it as bad as some.
In 2003, a British man was stabbed outside a bar after first having his red hair verbally abused by his attacker.
Last year, a redheaded family claimed it was chased from two British neighborhoods by "gingerphobes" who bullied their kids and sprayed anti-redhead graffiti on their homes.
Even Prince Harry has been teased by his Army buddies as a "ginger bullet magnet."
The British media, which have gone so far as to compare gingerism to racism, circulated reports last spring and summer claiming that end times were imminent for so-called gingers.
Those are the same media that brought us the "page 3 girl," usually a topless buxom blonde sprawled across a tabloid's third page--a little reward for readers who manage to make it that far.
Nevertheless, news organizations outside the U.K., including National Geographic, picked up on the story, sparking a mild panic in the redhead community.
Feeling threatened, a Michigan man founded red hedd.com, a social networking group for redheads and their fans who agree to "spread the red" by hooking up with fellow redheads and, well, creating more redheads.
There's a tiny sliver of truth to some of the reports regarding redheads, says Barry Starr, a Stanford geneticist who works at The Tech Museum of Innovation in San Jose, Calif.
The number of actual redheads will probably decrease over the years as those with the recessive gene intermarry with brunettes and people from Asia and Africa, where the gene is exceedingly rare, he said.
But plenty of people--sometimes you can spot them by their red beards and freckles--are "carriers," meaning they could pass the gene on to their children even if they don't have red hair themselves.
Starr and his wife each turned out to be carriers. One of their sons is a redhead.
So redheads are not likely to be extinct any time soon.
"That gene will always be there," he said.
This is probably a good thing, because people like me wouldn't make good blondes or brunettes.
We don't know the first thing about proper tanning techniques.
We don't know the first thing about waxing dark hair off our upper lips.
We don't know the first thing about blending in with the crowd--let alone disappearing from the planet.
Edie Gross: 540/374-5428
Email: egross@freelancestar.com
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How red hair happens
Scientists blame a mutant gene for causing red hair, a trait that may have developed some 50,000 years ago in Northern Europe. At the time, the pale skin that accompanies red hair would have been advantageous, increasing the body's ability to absorb vitamin D from sunlight. A gene is basically a set of instructions for making a protein, and the gene at the heart of red hair is MC1R. Not surprisingly, that gene makes the MC1R protein, which, if working properly, converts red pigment to brown pigment. We have two copies of most of our genes, one from mom and one from dad. If both copies of your MC1R gene are faulty, red pigment can build up and you end up with red locks. If one of your MC1R genes is faulty, but the other one works fine, you won't have red hair. But you'll be a "carrier," capable of passing the gene on to your children. This explains how red hair can "skip" a generation. Two redheads will pass red hair onto their kids 100 percent of the time. A redhead and a carrier have a 50 percent chance of producing redheads. And two carriers have a one --Information was gathered from Stanford geneticist Barry Starr, who answers questions from the public on "Ask a Geneticist," |
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Redheads in history Alexander the Great--An ancient Greek military commander whom historians consider one of the world's greatest tacticians. He was never defeated in battle and later inspired a line of grape candy. Christopher Columbus--The man credited with discovering America in 1492 is said to have sailed the ocean blue with a ruddy complexion and full head of red hair. Queen Elizabeth I--Along with her father, Henry VIII, and grandfather, Henry VII, she made red hair fashionable for a time in England. Galileo--A scientist, mathematician and astronomer in the 16th and 17th centuries, Galileo believed the Earth revolved around the sun. The Inquisition, which believed otherwise, sentenced him to house arrest. In 1992, 350 years after Galileo died, Pope John Paul II apologized. George Washington--America's first president, who grew up on nearby Ferry Farm, was a copper top who later powdered his hair. Thomas Jefferson--The primary author of the Declaration of Independence and the country's third president, Jefferson had "sandy red hair" and freckles as a youth. Winston Churchill--Called "Copperknob" in school, this British prime minister led England through World War II. Mark Twain--"Turn up your nose at red heads! What ignorance! I pity your lack of taste," the author wrote in an 1853 essay in the Hannibal Daily Journal. --Information gathered from redandproud.com, redheads.ie and "The Redhead Handbook" by Cort Cass. |
HOW RED HAIR HAPPENS |
