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Earth Day: Tilting at windmills?

May 7, 2008 12:15 am

I am so glad Earth Day was invented. With it came the concept of conservation, which, by the way, mankind had never considered before.

Things as revolutionary as recycling, toxic-waste control, pesticide control, cleaning our rivers, and cleaning our air are only a few of the many ideas invented by Earth Day.

And who invented Earth Day? I don't know for sure, but it could very well have been the inventor of the Internet, Al Gore himself!

Al Gore is my hero. He is Don Quixote personified, our tilter of tilted windmills, our righter of perceived wrongs, the noblest of Nobel nobles. I believe he also invented greenhouse gases. He is quite versatile.

Now, this perplexes me, though, because the last time I was in a greenhouse, the only thing I smelled was air! Of course, to be fair, maybe they use those gases at night when nobody is around to get overheat-ed or even die from the stuff.

Now there's global warming. Personally, last winter I could have used a little warming for my chilly fingers and toes and, also, to give my heating bill a rest.

The people in our north could use a little global warming now, I bet. Where, oh where, is global warming when you need it?

Please forgive me for this confession. Yes, depriving global warming of its legitimacy is definitely evil. (I don't know if it's a misdemeanor or a felony, but here come the Global Warming Police now! Egads!)

The bottom line is that global warming is here. It has been proven conclusively as a true phenomenon caused by greenhouse gases. The media says so; Al Gore says so; everybody says so. At least, everybody who counts says so.

I have proof and even numbers right here that say so somewhere here well, it was here. Hold on no, that's not it well trust me, it says so! So get out there and panic!

Wesley Chesser

Stafford