Andrea Springer Collins (left) and Kandyce Morris, 11, ride the Frog Hopper at FunLand in Central Park. PHOTOS BY PETER CIHELKA/THE FREE LANCE-STAR View More Images from this story Visit the Photo Place

Program provides mentoring for children of prisoners

Mentoring program focuses on children of prison inmates

BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE

Date published: 5/15/2008

By Flowers Umble

BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE

Nearly a year ago, Kandyce Morris woke her mom up at 2:30 in the morning.

"You lied to me," the preteen accused her sleepy mother.

Kathy Guilliams rolled over in the bed she shared with Kandyce's younger sister and tried to figure out what had happened.

Unable to sleep, Kandyce had turned on the computer, got on the Internet and typed in her father's name. She learned he'd been arrested on drug charges and sent to a federal prison in West Virginia.

Kandyce, a quiet 11-year-old who likes to keep to herself, might have sensed something months earlier when her dad made an emotional conversion at his mother's church.

Perhaps she felt undercurrents in the adults' hushed conversations. Her dad had gone to prison the month before, and her mom tried to protect her by not telling Kandyce.

Something was up

But Kandyce has been a daddy's girl from birth. She shares her father's brown eyes, smile, birthmark on the right thigh, shy personality and love of hair styling.

Before he went to jail, her dad had moved to West Virginia. Still, Kandyce had seen him every weekend.

But after his arrest, she hadn't seen him. She knew something was going on and was determined to find out.

Once she did, Kandyce's anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders grew worse.

She worried about her father almost constantly.

"She worships her daddy," Guilliams said. "She wakes up talking about him. She goes to bed talking about him."

But Kandyce didn't want to talk about him being in prison. Already extremely private, she withdrew even more.

Her schoolwork suffered.

And at school, kids teased her when she brought in a photo of her dad, dressed in tan prison garb.

SOMEONE TO TALK TO

Kandyce couldn't stop worrying about her father. And Guilliams couldn't stop worrying about Kandyce.

She loves her 3-year-old sister, but she'd always wanted an older sibling, someone to talk to.

So Guilliams brought Kandyce to Rappahannock Big Brothers Big Sisters. Typically, the mentoring program has a 60-child long waiting list to match volunteers with kids needing a mentor.

And someone like Kandyce can be a tough match, said Andrea Springer Collins, a recruiter for the agency. The preteen has some learning disabilities and Guilliams said she would be picky about any mentor chosen for her daughter.

BY THE NUMBERS 2 million children in the United States with a parent in state or federal prison 8 years average age of child of an inmate 5 times how much more likely a inmate's child is to end up in prison 41 percent of children of inmates ages 12-18 have been suspended from school. 38 percent of children of inmates ages 5-12 have problems in school. 2-4 hours per week a volunteer should have to mentor a child WANT TO HELP? The Rappahannock Big Brothers Big Sisters is looking for volunteers to mentor children. To help with the children of prisoners project, volunteers attend extra training to deal with related issues. Anyone ages 18-70 can volunteer. Mentors go through reference and background checks prior to volunteering. For details, call the agency at 540/371-7444.

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Date published: 5/15/2008