Bow out, Hillary, so the boredom can begin

June 6, 2008 12:15 am

SOMEBODY please tell Hillary Clin- ton that the Democratic primary race is over.

Further explain that we are all sick and tired of a nomination process that began the day after George Bush was re-elected in 2004.

Enough is enough! Accept defeat and go on! Just give us a break!

Maybe tomorrow, Hillary says.

But then what?

Oh, wait a minute! Now we have the actual presidential campaign that will bore us to death until Nov. 4. Is there any hope for political survival?

Now the biggest remaining question is whether Barack Obama will ask Clinton to be his vice-presidential running mate.

Remember I predicted that back in February and everyone pooh-poohed the idea? Now folks are taking the possibility of an Obama-Clinton Democratic ticket seriously. I still feel it would be an all-but-unbeatable combination.

That might be the only ticket that will stop this election from being the most ignored since Franklin Pierce was elected in 1853 (an election presumptive Republican nominee John McCain probably remembers).

There are those out there who are adamant that they will stay home on Election Day rather than vote for Obama and others who are just as determined not to vote if Clinton (by some quirk of fate) should become the Democratic nominee.

And anyone who dislikes George Bush will certainly not vote for McCain, who is a good old boy but has the personality of a wet dishrag.

The situation has gotten to such a low point that two people asked me last week if they could write my name on the presidential ballot in November. Now I certainly don't want the job, but I agreed, just to make sure these people actually vote.

In fact, I may write my own name on the ballot--or Mickey Mouse. The choices are that bad.

Still, we have to listen to two guys we really don't want to elect travel around and paw at each other for five months.

But the election stories are the bad side of this week's news. How about some good stuff?

For example, a court in Texas, citing the fact that there was no indication of abuse, returned the children of that religious sect to their families.

Can you imagine how those little kids felt being taken from their parents?

Now I don't believe in marrying 12-year-old girls (although my great-aunt was 12 when she got married and my great-grandmother was 15), but I also don't believe it is right to take kids from their parents just to check DNA and see who their fathers are.

If we are going to start doing that, I know a few Baptist (and Methodist and Catholic) children whose parentage may be in doubt. Should we remove them from their homes until we establish their true lineage? Maybe Texas authorities should leave that stuff to Maury Povich.

(By the way, my great-aunt was happily married for 60 years, as was my great-grandmother).

Another good story this week was the tribe discovered in the Brazilian jungle that has never had contact with the outside world.

What do you suppose they think airplanes that occasionally fly over are? That would be my first question to those secluded people. I bet they think jets are gods of some kind.

Hey! Texas authorities might want to check their kids' DNA. A small tribe like that must have intermarried over the years. Of course, I'll leave the wisecracks about this situation to Vice President Dick Cheney.

Aside from these stories, there was not much happening this week--except the price of oil dropped $13 a barrel and the price of gas went up 10 cents a gallon. How does that happen?

Oh! And I'm still waiting for my stimulus check from George Bush (never did get one in 2002). If I do get it, I might invest the money in my presidential campaign.

"My fellow Americans, if elected, I promise "

Donnie Johnston:
Email: djohnston@freelancestar.com