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HOW YOU DEAL
So I was excited to hear last month about a weight-management method that teaches people how to cope with stress. Dr. Robert Kushner and registered dietitian Dawn Jackson Blatner drew an audience of thousands at the recent American Dietetic Association in Chicago with their ideas about weight and personality.
I was especially fascinated with what Kushner called the seven coping patterns that affect how people take care of their health. He gave them catchy names:
PERSISTENT PROCRASTINATOR
PEOPLE PLEASER
OVERREACHING ACHIEVER
EMOTIONAL EATER
SELF-SCRUTINIZER
FAST PACER
DOUBTFUL DIETER
Kushner and his wife, Nancy, a nurse, co-authored the book, "Dr. Kushner's Personality Type Diet," that describes these seven coping styles, along with seven eating and exercising styles.
Your styles can improve with different strategies.
In this column, I'll go over the first three coping styles, which Blatner said are the most common. Next week, I'll discuss the last four styles.
PERSISTENT PROCRASTINATOR
According to Kushner, people with this personality pattern put off losing weight. For example, I knew an accomplished woman who wanted to lose weight but had a new excuse each week about why she didn't follow her plan: Relatives visited, she traveled or she was busy. Everyday life was a constant barrier.
I struggle with procrastination myself, and I am not alone. One in every five adults is a chronic procrastinator, according to a survey published in the North American Journal of Psychology.
If you delay things needlessly, Kushner suggests four strategies for getting unstuck:
First: List the pros and cons of taking action.
Pros of eating well might include feeling better, having healthier skin, losing weight, and reducing risks of heart disease and cancer. Cons might include taking more time to plan meals and worrying about whether family members are willing to try new, healthier foods.
Once you've listed the pros and cons of taking action, brainstorm ways to make your action plan more pleasant--such as finding healthy treats. Also, imagine ways to overcome the "cons," such as checking out a book with time-saving, ready-made healthy menus.
Second: Set goals so small and easy to accomplish that it's hard to put them off.
For example, you might set a goal of eating breakfast every day. Your mini goals might be buying breakfast cereals and setting the alarm clock 10 minutes early to allow time to eat.
Third: Use visible cues to remind you of your new plan. For example, before you go to bed, set the table for breakfast.
Fourth: Reward yourself. Record your goals and your behaviors in a journal or on a calendar. This small step can be amazingly powerful, because you can see your progress.
Then make a list of healthy, non-food rewards. I sometimes give people lists of a hundred rewards and ask them what other rewards they want. I emphasize rewards more than Kushner because I think they can jump-start new habits.
Choose rewards that are quick enough that you can have one every time you meet your goal behavior. A reward can be anything you like, from taking a bubble bath to listening to a favorite song.
PEOPLE PLEASER
You might be a people pleaser if you say "yes" to other people instead of taking care of yourself. Women especially are prone to this pattern--while caring for their children, aging parents and spouses, a person's self-care is apt to fall to the bottom of the "to-do" list.
Kushner has four strategies for change.
First: First, commit to caring for yourself. Kushner advises monitoring yourself as much your car--you need good fuel and regular tune-ups, too.
Personally, I like to remind people of the flight attendants' spiel about emergency equipment on planes. They show you oxygen masks and tell you to "fasten your own mask before attending to your child or the person next to you." The message: If you don't take care of yourself, you'll get too sick to care for anyone else.
Second: "Plan your yeses," according to Kushner. He recommends people write lists of their top goals for relationships, work, spirituality and self-care. Then pledge that you will say "yes" to your passions.
Third: Learn to say "no." Rehearse saying "no" when someone asks a favor that doesn't meet your goals. Even starting with a neutral phrase like, "I need to check my calendar first," is progress, giving you a chance to plan how you'll say "no." Your true friends will still like you.
Fourth: Delegate tasks. Ask for help with specific tasks rather than hinting. For example, Kushner writes, someone with children might ask the spouse, "Can you pick the kids up from soccer so that I can get to my exercise class?"
OVERREACHING ACHIEVER
If you never lose weight fast enough and you feel disappointed even when you make progress, you're a perfectionist. You can do something about it:
First: Describe your goal weight. Realize that you don't have complete control over how your body reacts to eating and exercise.
Second: List other benefits of an active lifestyle besides weight loss, such as feeling energetic and sleeping well, recommends Kushner.
Third: Think about setting a small weight-loss goal of 10 percent. For example, if you weigh 300 pounds, a 10 percent loss would be 30 pounds.
This may not be your dream weight, but research shows most people can reasonably lose and maintain a 10 percent loss. This amount is enough to improve cholesterol, blood sugar and blood pressure. Once you reach this goal, you can lose more weight if you want.
Fourth: Accept limits. If you've inherited big bones, it's unrealistic to expect a twiggy figure, not to mention unhealthy.
To this, I add my own advice: No matter what your size, celebrate the wonderful things your body can do--play catch, dance, swim, walk a dog, swing a hammer, lift a baby, paint--whatever you enjoy doing.
Focus not just on how your body looks, but also the fun things it can do, at any size. Feeling positive makes it easier to change behavior.
If you're having trouble changing behavior, consider seeking coaching, from a registered dietitian, your physician or a counselor. Kudos to you for the effort. Eating well is more complex than knowing what to put on your plate.
Jennifer Motl welcomes reader questions via her Web site, brighteat ing.com, or mailed to Nutrition, The Free Lance-Star, 616 Amelia St., Fredericksburg, Va. 22401.
Jennifer Motl is a registered dietitian. Formerly of Fredericksburg, she now lives in Wisconsin. |
