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Area parenting experts offer advice on the raising kids in a rocky economy
Date published: 6/16/2009
BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE
OK, parents, you can stop spelling out R-E-C-E-S-S-I-O-N every time your preschooler enters the room. Your children have overheard snippets of news reports, hushed conversations and calls from creditors. They know something is up. And they're blaming themselves. So, keeping mum to protect your child is backfiring, Fredericksburg-area parenting specialists say. "Children usually do better when they hear the truth," said Mary Holloway, a parenting training specialist with Spotsylvania County's Department of Social Services. She and other parent trainers advise talking with children and giving them the opportunity to help. Ask for suggestions on ways to cut back. Involve them in family decisions. Children will feel better, and so will parents who won't need to put on a facade. Keep the conversation age-appropriate but honest, said Jan Campbell, who trains foster parents for Spotsylvania. And use the lingering recession as an excuse to teach skills such as saving, waiting and helping others, Holloway said. "In general, our society has tended to become more overly indulgent with our children," she said. "I don't want to trivialize the pain of the economy, but we can look at this situation as a glass half-full and use it to teach delayed gratification and that hard work has benefits." Also, child-welfare advocates emphasize that now, more than ever, parents need to watch their own stress levels. This is not a time to over-indulge, Campbell said. Parents should not drink or eat excessively. They should also eat well, exercise and attend support groups if needed. And go after help as soon as they need it, instead of letting past-due bills pile up. And take some time to have fun. Julie Rivnak-McAdam of the Rappahannock Area Council on Children and Parents said that just doing one cheap, fun activity daily could keep parents from becoming abusive under stress. Spotsylvania's parent trainers also suggest reaching out to help others. They said families should check out volunteer opportunities at the homeless shelter or food bank. Or just bake cookies for a neighbor. "It's so hard to step out of that box, when you feel like your world is crashing down around you," Holloway said. "But it's such a feel-good activity," said parent trainer Marilyn Balog. "It can pick you up."
Amy Flowers Umble: 540/735-1973
Date published: 6/16/2009
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