BY PORTSIA SMITH
What was Phyllis Wilson to do?
The Caroline County mother saw the red bandanas that crowded her 12-year-old son's room. She saw the hand gestures and gang references on his MySpace page. She heard him say that he wanted to be a gang member.
And worst of all, she saw the influence his behavior was having on his 9-year-old brother.
"It was really scary," Wilson said. "I didn't know what to do."
Then, she heard about the "Strengthening Our Communities" forum hosted by the Caroline County school system.
The goal of the forum was to end the feuds between groups within the county, and to show students the realities of gangs and violence and help them make the right decisions.
More than 100 students, parents and community members attended the event last week, including Wilson and her two sons.
"The choices we make in life determine the type of suits we wear," Assistant Superintendent Eric Cunningham said as he pointed at the orange, blue and striped jail suits displayed across the high school stage. "If you take the wrong path, you will end up wearing one of these."
Sheriff Tony Lippa showed a graphic video titled "The Wrong Family" that told real-life gang stories from Virginia.
One of the gang members in the 26-minute video said, "If you don't raise your kids, there's guys in the streets who will and you ain't gonna like how they turn out."
Commonwealth's Attorney Tony Spencer talked about how decisions have consequences and discussed cases he has prosecuted in the county.
The sheriff and prosecutor say they don't think the county has any real gangs, but they have seen "gang-like" activity in Caroline.
Supervisor Floyd Thomas pulled $50 out of his pocket to add to the prizes being given away that night. He challenged all of the students to appreciate life.
He talked about how precious life is to him after overcoming cancer two years ago. "To see kids fight over something that doesn't matter, it just hurts me," he said.
Cunningham, who emceed the forum, gave away many gift certificates, iPods and laptop computers.
Mothers from the community spoke about how violence had affected their lives.
Those speakers included LaVerne Smith-Courtney and Teresa Watts, whose sons were murdered; Dana Brawley, whose state trooper husband was killed by a drug dealer, and a woman who said her son is serving a life sentence in prison.
Those messages and the video left an impact on Wilson's 12-year-old son. When he got home, he threw all of his bandanas away, his mother said.
Wilson said her son told her that he had no idea gang life was the way it was and that they killed people for no reason.
More forums will be held throughout the county, but no dates have been set yet.
Members of the community are encouraged to come out and give testimonials.
Wilson said she plans to be at the next one to talk about how the community helped prevent her son from becoming a statistic.
"A whole lot of parents are very thankful and want us to do it again," Cunningham said. "It's a community effort. We're going to start giving kids positive places to go."
Portsia Smith: 540/374-5419
Email: psmith@fredericksburg.com