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Spotsylvania couple grateful for the moments, no matter how fleeting, they had with their newborn son Date published: 9/27/2009
By CATHY DYSON Moments after Kristen and Paul Sowa held their newborn son for the first time, they had to tell him goodbye. Paul Thomas Rocky Sowa--"Baby Paul"--lived only three minutes. His time on this earth was as fleeting as a song, but to the family he left behind, to those who discovered halfway into the pregnancy that his life would end before it started, those moments were golden. "I'm just happy that he was in our life and that we had a few minutes of heaven with him," his mother said. Baby Paul was born and died on July 29. He had a birth defect called Trisomy 18 that causes an extra chromosome and various internal problems. Doctors first noticed a heart defect on an ultrasound, which led to a test that confirmed the birth defect. Baby Paul's condition was rare, but as the Sowas of Spotsylvania County came to discover, more babies die than they could have imagined. "Very often, when I meet with a family, their first reaction is surprise," said Tammy Ruiz, the Mary Washington Hospital coordinator who counsels about 100 families a year going through such losses. The figures she shares are staggering. Across the nation, 50,000 babies die every year--half before birth and the others, like Baby Paul, within their first month of life. That doesn't include the thousands of miscarriages before the 20th week of pregnancy, Ruiz said. She often answers questions from parents-to-be about how a baby's death could have been prevented. Most times it couldn't have, she said. "There's a misconception that babies die because doctors make mistakes," said Ruiz. "The vast majority of cases occur because of circumstances that you wouldn't be able to anticipate or change." A PLACE TO CALL HOME Kristen and Paul Sowa have been married nine years. She has a 10-year-old son, Joel, from a previous marriage, and they have a daughter together, 7-year-old Emily. Paul is a master sergeant in the Marine Corps, and his family moved to Massaponax from New Jersey three years ago. Avid Yankees fans, Paul coaches in the Spotsylvania County Little League and Kristen serves on the board. She works for the Spotsylvania Sheriff's Office and is active with the Riverview Elementary School PTO.
Date published: 9/27/2009
Coming into this world, knowing you are loved is the greatest feeling. Leaving the same way, is even better. My thoughts, prayers and heart goes out to this family. Stay strong! Baby Paul will always be with you!
We are so very fortunate to have Tammy Ruiz in our community. We're thankful that Mary Washington Hospital has a Perinatal Bereavement Program. For those families that find themselves in this situation it is helpful & comforting beyond belief! Thank you doesn't convey the depth of emotion and gratitude we have....Semper Fi & Prayers to the Sowa Family. Thanks for sharing your story & your son with us.
May God Bless this family. How brave they are.
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