Services welcome joyful noise

BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE

Taking care of a child with disabilities can get stressful. Lori Clark relies on her Christian faith for help.

And while Sunday services provide a boost for the week ahead, she's not sure how much Jacob, 3, gets out of church. He spends most of the worship time in a nursery.

So Clark, a Spotsylvania County resident, was happy to help plan a monthly service geared toward children with disabilities.

The service, which starts tomorrow afternoon at Grace Lutheran Church at Massaponax, will be specifically tailored to meet the needs of children with autism.

But the tweaks that would fit kids with autism will work for most people with disabilities, said the Rev. Paul Walters, pastor of Grace Lutheran.

For example, the service will feature a shorter service, because kids with autism often have short attention spans. It will use puppets, because they sometimes struggle with eye contact.

And it will have quieter songs, because many children with autism can't handle loud noises.

It will also be casual and interruptions will be expected.

"If you're worried about your child being disruptive, this is the service to come to," Walters said.

Clark is friends with Walters and provided ideas for the service. While Jacob doesn't have autism, his disability shares many traits.

Jacob doesn't talk, but makes a lot of loud noises. Clark said she doesn't take him to regular church services because she would worry about him disrupting the reverent atmosphere.

Many parents of kids with autism worry about the same thing. It was one reason why Walters wanted to offer the service.

A family at Grace includes a boy with Asperger's, a high-functioning form of autism. His grandparents Bill and Marilyn Hoffer approached Walters about an autism outreach.

They first suggested a support group for families. But Walters wanted to reach out in a way that only a church could.

He learned that many families don't attend church, or couples swap Sundays, so one attends while the other stays home with the child with autism.

Families often feel uncomfortable bringing a sometimes rowdy child to church. Or the long sermons and loud music affect the child's sensory processing problems.

But families with special needs often need worship the most, Walters said.

His congregation will start monthly services tomorrow afternoon. Walters said that everyone is welcome. And he hopes that families attending the afternoon service will soon feel welcome at regular services, too.

Amy Flowers Umble: 540/735-1973
Email: aumble@freelancestar.com

WHAT: Jesus Loves Me: Gentle Worship for Extraordinary Families WHEN: Tomorrow, and the second Sunday of each month, 4 p.m. WHERE: Grace Lutheran Church at Massaponax WHY: Worship will include soft music, shorter sermon, puppets, gluten-free Communion wafers and a visual schedule of the service.

DETAILS: 540/891-8722 or visitgracelutheran.org

Want to help your congregation become more inclusive for families with disabilities? Here are some tips:

Be welcoming. Give a high-five, a pat on the shoulder or a cheerful greeting.

Give responsibilities. Let the person with special needs help as a greeter or with other tasks, such as putting address labels on newsletters, gathering church bulletins left on the pews, delivering snacks to the preschool classes or helping with service projects.

Establish routines. Many people with special needs thrive on routine. People with special needs can help with Jewish rituals by opening and closing the ark before the Torah is read, helping the reader turn pages and helping put away the prayer shawls after services.

Use compassion. Many religions exclude people with special needs from rituals such as Baptism or Communion. Talk with the family and with the individual before making the decision.

Use peers. Rotate partners close in age to the person with special needs. This promotes friendship.

Don't pretend to understand a person with limited speech. Ask him, politely, to repeat himself more slowly.

Talk to the person directly, not through a companion or family member.

Offer accommodations: Scriptures in Braille, listening devices, wheelchair-accessible bathrooms and picture schedules.

Use object lessons when teaching. Many people with disabilities need concrete examples.

Make lessons shorter. People with special needs often have shorter attention spans.

Use concrete examples when teaching. People with cognitive disabilities often have trouble understanding abstract ideas.

Be patient and flexible.

Offer to help caregivers: Train youths in the congregation to be sitters for children with disabilities; send occasional notes, flowers or cards; hold activities for people with disabilities during the week so caregivers get a night off; and start a Bible study or support group for caregivers.

--"That All May Worship" (available from nod.org) and autism-society.org

Date published: 10/10/2009

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