GUESTS, GARBAGE, GOOD TIMES

DOES THE song "Who let the dogs out?" stir the wind of terror in the dog parent part of your brain? Have you sat in the reception area of the all-night veterinary hospital wishing your dog, Esmerelda, had not found your big underwire bra on the bedroom floor and eaten it while you were reading in the bathtub? Have you considered inflicting physical harm on your significant other, who cannot remember to secure the lid to the trash can after putting aluminum foil dripping with pastrami juices in that dog-tempting trash can?

When a warning voice in your head whispers "Aunt Tilly is dog-ignorant and may feed Rover a handful of turkey skin" or "Uncle Jack just plain doesn't like dogs. He might not be too sorry to see Spot slip out the front door!" or "Youthful nephew Nathaniel pays no heed to 'Don't crawl into his crate with Jojo when he's sleeping!'"--listen to your dog protective voice. Safeguard your dog before the guests invade your happy dog family.

The Dangers

Dogs should not eat many holiday foods. Turkey, fatty meats, meat skins, fatty pan drippings, onions, bones from cooked meats, many nuts, raisins, chocolate and foods that might produce lots of gas, such as broccoli, cabbage or dried beans, should not be shared with your canine friend.

Vigilantly dispose of wrappings, coverings and containers that sing the siren song of "eat me, lick me, hide me under the sofa for later" to most dogs. The cotton net you carefully peeled off the turkey breast, the wax paper bag that hid the giblets in the inner regions of the turkey, the oodles of plastic wrap and tinfoil laden with yummy juices and bits of delicious holiday food will not be recognized as dangers to an always-hungry, no-food-judgment dog.

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HOLIDAYS WITH THE MELCHERSES TOURS: Dec. 1-31, Gari Melchers Home and Studio at Belmont, 224 Washington St., Falmouth. Adults $10, ages 5 and older $5. Runs daily except Wednesdays. 540/654-1844; garimelchers.org.

GOOD 'N STINKY BRAUNSCHWEIGER BROWNIES

Add to food processor or mix by hand:

1 egg 2 tablespoons of olive oil rounded teaspoon turmeric rounded teaspoon rosemary 1 rounded teaspoon garlic powder

Add and mix:

4 oz. braunschweiger (usually found in an 8-oz. tube with refrigerated lunch meats.) 1 box Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix cup oatmeal

Bake in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes.

Remove and cut into 1-inch squares, using rolling pizza cutter. Immediately return cookies to oven that is turned off but still hot. Let cookies harden in cooling oven for one hour. Cool, on cookie rack, out of reach of inquisitive noses. Serve one per dog and stand back!

Store in a paper-towel-lined cookie tin. Since there are no preservatives and they contain meat, store these in the refrigerator, or share immediately with all your doggy friends and neighbors.

GINGER CINNAMON SMASHED CRESCENT BARS

Mix in a small bowl:

2 teaspoons powdered ginger 2 teaspoons powdered cinnamon Three tablespoons olive oil

Pour half of the oil/spice mixture onto a large 11- by 16-inch cookie sheet. Spread oil with a rubber spatula (or your hands) until all surfaces and edges of pan are oiled.

Carefully unroll one can of refrigerated low-fat crescent rolls (Pillsbury or store brand). Lay the whole package of rolls on the oiled pan. If the crescents come apart, that's OK. Once all the dough is laid onto the oiled pan, pour the remaining half of the ginger-cinnamon oil onto the dough. With clean hands, press out the dough to cover the pan to the edges. Rub on the spicy oil.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Bake an additional 20 minutes at 200 degrees. Remove from oven and cool.

Break the dough triangles apart. Store as triangles and break into small squares as needed. These cookies will be crispy and may crumble too much if you cut them with a knife or pizza roller.

Date published: 11/28/2009

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