THERE'S a per-
Hello? Black Friday? Stores open at 4 a.m.? Arrive early to avoid long lines? Didn't anybody see "Jingle All the Way"?
And Woods' wife, Elin, happened to have a golf club in her hands in the wee hours of the morning because she wanted to show Tiger what brand of clubs to buy as a gift for her twin sister.
No? Don't buy it? You're not alone.
We kid because Tiger apparently emerged physically unscathed from the single-car accident, other than some facial lacerations. His reputation is another matter--especially the longer he goes without explaining himself.
Woods is scheduled to hold a press conference in Thousand Oaks, Calif., tomorrow before the Chevron World Challenge, which benefits his charitable foundation. As of last night, it was unclear whether he will attend the tournament or the press conference--and if he does, whether he'll even address the issue.
He canceled three scheduled meetings with police investigators, and his only public comment so far has been a statement he released yesterday. He took the blame for the crash and expressed his embarrassment and thanks for fans' concern. He said his wife "acted courageously" after finding him injured.
Until last week, Woods had enjoyed a nearly flawless public reputation. The only criticism (aside from the fact that he won too often) was that he didn't condemn Augusta National's policy excluding women as members.
He has 14 major championships, a gorgeous wife, two cute kids, billions of dollars and global fame. He's the world's most recognizable athlete--witness the thousands who recently turned out to watch him play a practice round in Australia.
"I'm human and I'm not perfect," he said in the statement. "I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again."
But as a golfer, Woods knows there are no mulligans. If you slice your drive out of bounds, you have to take a penalty stroke. And because he's grown rich largely because fans pay top dollar to watch him, he should come clean.
To this point, we haven't discussed the elephant in the room: a tabloid report alleging an affair between Woods and a New York night club hostess, Rachel Uchitel.
Is it true? Who knows?
We're not going there, other to say three things:
Woods wouldn't be the first (or the last) celebrity to stray against all logic.
Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.
And as Steve McNair proved, athletes' dalliances can be very costly.
The real question is now that he has proved he's human, just how much will Woods let down his immaculately cultivated wall of privacy? He lives in a gated community, and he has taken precautions not to do anything controversial or juicy.
Last week won't ruin his reputation. Kobe Bryant and Alex Rodriguez proved rich athletes can put indiscretions behind them and regain their popularity--as long as they keep their noses clean and (most importantly) win. Michael Jordan paid off a woman who claimed the two had an ongoing affair, and still is revered.
But silence could cost Woods financially. Bryant lost most of his endorsement contracts after facing sexual assault allegations (which were eventually dropped) and ultimately admitting
Sponsors likely will join the public in watching Woods closely over the weeks ahead. For many observers, silence will be a tacit admission of guilt. (Just ask Mark McGwire.)
No matter how much it hurts, Woods needs to face the cameras tomorrow and give an honest explanation
It'll make fodder for water cooler conversation and late-night talk show monologues, but the backlash will subside. A cynical public that once saw him as a robot gained sympathy for him when he lost his father and became a dad himself--you know, normal things.
If Woods comes clean, the world will forgive him. (His wife may be another matter.) Like a tee shot into the water, you have to play life as it lies.
Steve DeShazo: 540/374-5443
Email: sdeshazo@freelancestar.com