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If the world ends, can you still return gifts?
Three years to get ready for the world to end

Date published: 12/18/2009

COME MONDAY, it is three years and counting.

Three years till what?

Three years until the end of the world! You didn't know that? Where have you been?

Dec. 21, 2012--a Friday. That's the big day.

The Mayans have supposedly predicted that this is when the end will come, and so have several other previous cultures.

Why, even that old soothsayer Nostradamus is said to have determined that this date will mark the end of time.

Of course, that makes me a little wary, because nobody seems to recognize Nostradamus' predictions until after they happen.

After the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, for example, there were people coming out of the woodwork saying "Oh, Nostradamus predicted that!" If that was true, why didn't somebody warn us ahead of time?

I guess this time it has to be different. After all, if the world comes to an end on Dec. 21, there's not likely to be anyone around on Dec. 22 to exclaim, "Well, you know, Nostradamus predicted that!"

All these people are predicting the end of the world, but nobody seems to know why it will end or how the final destruction will take place.

Hollywood, of course, believes God will destroy Earth with a series of computer-generated special effects, just the way filmmakers did it in the movie "2012."

I'm not real sure God is into special effects, although He did part the Red Sea, explode Sodom and Gomorrah and bring the walls of Jericho down with a single trumpet blast.

As to why the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012, no one is really certain. Some believe it has something to do with especially strong solar flares, while others say it's because the Earth and sun will come into direct alignment with the center of the Milky Way.

I have my own theory. On Dec. 20, the Washington Redskins, with a perfect record, will clinch home field advantage in the NFL playoffs by beating Dallas in overtime in a nationally televised Thursday night game.

If that doesn't trigger the end of the world, nothing will. At best, it will cause every Redskins fan in Washington to drop dead.

The game ends at 11:59, and the world ends precisely at midnight with Dick Clark counting down.

Ridiculous? Well, it's about as plausible as solar flares causing the Earth's core to boil over (the movie "2012").


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