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Olivia Dalberg (foreground, right) and Warner Cohen (far right) dance at the Fredericksburg Area Service League's Cotillion dance at the Fredericksburg Country Club.
Cotillion students stand near their dance partners as they await instructions. Each receives a dance card with five names on it.
Henry Till (left) and Anna Katherine Bowles (right) prepare for the start of a ballroom dance. The evening is the culmination of the etiquette and dance class lessons.
Brooke West (left) and Kyle Raymond (second from left) quip at the the Fredericksburg Area Service League's Cotillion dinner-dance. |
Walk, walk, side, close.
Walk, walk, side, close.
From the middle of the Fredericksburg Country Club dance floor, Michael Scott calls out the steps to the fox trot, his pint-size pupils trying their best to keep time around him.
Quite a few have the hang of it, maintaining a firm "dance frame" while staying off their partner's toes.
But it's a middle-school crowd, and inevitably a loafer lands squarely on a Mary Jane or a boy leads his partner into another couple.
And the giggling begins.
Scott, the owner of Strictly Ballroom Dance Studio and the dance instructor for the 70 teens and pre-teens in Junior Cotillion, reminds the boys to look over their partner's shoulder to avoid steering into other people.
A boy in a red tie glances up at the girl he's dancing with--she's at least a head taller--and whispers, "I can't see over your shoulder."
He's not alone, and another round of giggling commences.
In a few minutes, the music will change from Big Band to Black Eyed Peas, and it's the girls' turn to lead--kicking off their high heels and throwing their hands in the air. The boys cluster on the edge for a few moments, before joining them.
While these middle-schoolers in the Fredericksburg Area Service League's Junior Cotillion have learned plenty about ballroom dancing and etiquette over the last few months, the class is about more than navigating the world of salad forks and dance cards.
It's about honing the kids' social skills and raising their confidence levels--so they're comfortable in their own skin, whether they're doing a fox trot or dancing with abandon.
"It's not one of those stuffy, white-gloves kind of cotillions," said Cathy Williams, the Junior Cotillion co-chair for the service league. "It's really an everyday kind of manners class for everybody. It's a great way to help children through this awkward time. It's amazing how you see them standing a little straighter."
KIDS LEARN THE BASICS
The service league offers cotillion for sixth-, seventh- and eighth-graders, using money raised from tuition--$210 during the 2009-10 season--to support local children's charities.
The classes started out 15 years ago in the Central Rappahannock Regional Library with a handful of kids. Now, with as many as 110 enrolled at one time, they are held at Strictly Ballroom in Spotsylvania.
Some kids attend for two or three years in a row.
Sunday's event, which included a four-course meal sans parents, was essentially the season finale, something the cotillion kids had worked toward for months.
Some heard about cotillion from older siblings, neighbors and friends and signed up willingly for the classes. Others had been drafted.
"Our moms told us to," Armand Matini and Caleb Shade, both Fredericksburg Christian Schools seventh-graders, said in unison.
"My parents said I was a very improper child--'You need to learn table manners now,'" said Anna Bowles, 11, who conceded she'd had a pretty good time. "I made a few new friends. It's not so bad."
"We begged our parents to let us come," said Morgan King, 14, who attended with Danielle Deiters, 13, a fellow eighth-grader at Spotsylvania's Ni River Middle School.
"We watch the movies, and we wanted to be able to dance like them," said Morgan, a jitterbug fan.
The kids attended a half dozen classes throughout the fall and early winter, all on Sundays. From Scott and his wife, Melissa, they learned swing and ballroom dancing techniques.
At first, Scott said, some resisted holding hands with each other on the dance floor. Eventually, they embraced the style, even schooling their parents at the Holly Ball in December.
"It's great to see a mom get led around by her 12-year-old boy," said Scott.
Judith Murray volunteered to teach the manners lessons, covering everything from how to RSVP for a party to how to exit a car appropriately if wearing a dress (heads up, Britney Spears).
Murray, who operates Protocol Unlimited, teaches corporate etiquette to professionals and college students, but basics are the same no matter the audience, she said.
"Be thoughtful of other people. That's my whole theory in etiquette, period."
A FUN ENVIRONMENT
Shayne Lowman, 12, was enjoying her second year in cotillion, particularly the swing-dancing lessons.
Her mother, Tracey, was more excited that her daughter, part of the text-messaging generation, had learned how to write a formal letter.
"It teaches them things we unfortunately have stepped away from in society."
Dad Chris Lowman said he's noticed a change in the way Shayne carries herself.
"I think she's much more conscious of herself and the way she acts in public."
Bob and Christy Walsh's 12-year-old, Amber, was less excited about the classes.
"She's painfully, painfully shy, and we thought this would help her break out of her bubble a little bit," said Christy, who noted Amber has made progress.
"I did introduce her to someone at Wegmans the other day, and she made eye contact and stuck out her hand--but didn't speak," she said.
By Sunday night, it appeared every child in the room, Amber included, had mastered the art of conversation. There wasn't a wallflower in the place.
At Table 3, sixth-graders good-naturedly teased each other, dissolving into hysterics after each punch line.
"My mom said I need to learn manners," said a grinning Brooke West, 11.
"I don't think this is going to help you," shot back 11-year-old Kyle Raymond.
Meanwhile table mate Andrew Howell, 12, unsure of which fork to use on his chicken cordon bleu, hedged his bets and used them both--being careful to keep each one at the proper angle of 45 degrees.
Like Andrew, Nick Saraceno, 12, knotted his own tie for the occasion. But beneath that cotillion exterior, he's still a preteen.
"I learned I'll never get married," he said, scrunching up his face and launching a new round of hysterics. "Girls are icky."
BOOSTING CONFIDENCE
That didn't keep Nick and every other boy in the place from partnering up on the dance floor after dinner.
Each child received a dance card ahead of time, listing a different partner for five separate dances.
"It's kind of awkward sometimes because you don't know some people and it's weird when you have to dance frame with someone you've never heard of," said Cameron Brandon, 12, a sixth-grader at Dixon-Smith Middle in Stafford. "But it got a little easier."
At their tables, the kids kept napkins on laps and carefully balanced soup spoons on the saucers beneath each bowl. Cell phones were turned off and placed in the middle of the table.
Boys wore suits, and at least one sported a tux. Girls sparkled in new dresses. Many wore their hair up and a touch of makeup.
Several admitted to spreading the cotillion gospel to friends and family. Katie Brandon, 14, said she's constantly on her friends about talking with their mouths full of food.
Morgan King, 14, said when her family goes out to dinner, she makes sure everyone uses the right fork.
And Claire King, 13, has been known to bust the occasional move at Spotsylvania County's Battlefield Middle School.
"I walk into homeroom every Monday, and they say, 'What new dances did you learn? Can you teach them to us?'" the seventh-grader said.
Katie Brandon said the dancing skills will come in handy when she gets older and attends sorority balls and the like. Plus, she said, her parents are thrilled that she likes swing music.
"They said, 'You finally know some music other than Jay Sean,'" said the Dixon-Smith eighth-grader. "I'm like, 'Dad, please.'"
Spencer Marshall, 12, said attending cotillion for two years has been a real confidence-builder. He's picked up skills and become friendly with a lot of kids he wouldn't otherwise have met.
"It sort of raises your self- esteem," said the Fredericksburg Academy seventh-grader, "so you're not one of the kids standing in the corner."
Edie Gross: 540/374-5428
Email: egross@freelancestar.com
The league sponsors a Junior Cotillion each year to teach middle-schoolers etiquette, ballroom dancing and basic social skills. Money raised from the program, which includes six classes and two parties, helps support the group's charities.
For more information about the organization or cotillion, visit faserviceleague.com.
