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Families, the dying can benefit from end-of-life care Date published: 7/11/2010
MY GRANDMOTHER had a washing machine in the kitchen. As a young girl, that was my place to perch and ask her questions while she cooked: "Nene, where do eggs come from?" "They come from chickens." "Nene, where do chickens come from?" My grandmother knew everything! But neither of us knew the meaning of the word "hospice" until I was about 36. That is when the hospice nurses came like a team of angels to turn my mother's living room into a makeshift hospital room for my grandmother. Perched in that big hospital bed, Nene looked as fragile as a baby chick. At first, she struggled to speak. "You know who I miss?" she asked me, her voice labored. "Who do you miss, Nene?" I replied. "I miss m-m " then she dozed off to sleep before she could answer. This exact scene recurred three times. Sadly, "Who do you miss, Nene" would be my final question to her. During that difficult transition when my grandmother was dying, hospice gave our family a tremendous gift. They managed my grandmother's physical needs so that we could embrace those intensely emotional moments at the end of her life. FINAL LODGING Literally, the word hospice means "lodging for travelers." In some cases, as we near the end of our life's journey, death is somewhat predictable in the course it will take. In these cases, hospice can set up that final lodging place in our own homes. But their services don't stop there. They care for the patient but also help address the family's needs by offering emotional, psychological and even spiritual support. Support is adapted to the needs of each particular situation, and sometimes it comes in the form of massage, music or even art. It takes a special gift to work in hospice care. I talked with two local caregivers: Dana Peveler, who is manager of Mary Washington Hospice, and Judy Murphy of Hospice Support Care. When I asked them what families need to know about hospice, they both had the same response. Families are sometimes afraid to bring in hospice--afraid that it may be too early, or afraid that it will be misperceived as "giving up."
Date published: 7/11/2010
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