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Kenny, a junior in high school who lives in a Petersburg-area group home, hopes to be adopted before he ages out of the foster care system.
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PETER CIHELKA/THE FREE LANCE-STAR 
Having a family sounds good to teen in foster care
Kenny longs to know what it's like to be part of a familyDate published: 10/16/2010 BY AMY FLOWERS UMBLE Kenny has been in foster care so long he doesn't remember having a family. But it sounds like something he might like. At 16, Kenny loves to play soccer and basketball. He also loves video games. While playing recently at Swader's Sports Park near Petersburg, Kenny talked about foster care, school and adoption. With dark blond hair and blue eyes, Kenny speaks so softly you have to lean in to hear him. The 11th-grader is very shy. But he's also affectionate and polite. "Kenny is just special," said Krista McCulloch, adoption recruiter for Children's Home Society of Virginia. "He's really sweet." Kenny is one of more than 1,400 Virginia foster children waiting for adoption. In 2008, Virginia had the worst rate of foster children reaching the age of 18 without adoptive parents. An initiative aims to get children into permanent homes before they age out. But for now, children like Kenny sometimes wait years for adoptive parents. McCulloch said Kenny will need a family with time and patience. But for Kenny's part, his requests are much simpler. At first, he couldn't think of anything he'd want from a family, shrugging and saying he didn't know anything about families. He hasn't been in one "in a long, long time," he said. But a few moments later, Kenny said in his quiet voice, "If they don't beat on me, I'm OK. That's the only thing I'm scared of." Amy Flowers Umble: 540/735-1973
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Date published: 10/16/2010
cont...
(posted by
riley6
, Oct. 17, 2010 1:48 pm)
to protect the kids. Mental illness is often hard to deal with, b/c a person with bipolor doesn't like to take meds to lower the manic phases and when they're depressed they're often feeling hopeless. It's a terrible disorder to have and to be the child of a parent with it. Are you now in contact with your birth family? I would love to talk to you further about this topic!
I agree with you 100%!
(posted by
riley6
, Oct. 17, 2010 1:46 pm)
DSS is now mandated to ONLY remove kids if there is imminent danger to them. Otherwise, home services are given. Goals are made with the input of the parents. The #1 goal is always the safety of the child. Only if that is not possible, after giving in-home services are the kids removed. In most of the families that I know, where the kids ended up in fc, it was only after the parents proved time and time again that their kids were not their priority. There are times when DSS has to step in to protect..
Only after this kind of assessment and
(posted by
ObservantOne
, Oct. 17, 2010 11:27 am)
treatment is tried and failed can it truly be said that the family must be split up. The continued contact with the parent(s) is critical to the children and their mindset no matter what happens in the end. It is impossible to really know if removing them is the right thing until this kind of assessment is done. Our family would have been fine with some family counseling and job training.
This is where I think we can do better
(posted by
ObservantOne
, Oct. 17, 2010 9:53 am)
There is a lot of information coming out about certain types of mental illness, bipolar disorder being the main one. These parents that you speak of to whom their children are second need to be assessed and treated for their own good, for their child's good and for the good of society. Since DSS is taking it upon themselves they need to get the ball rolling by connecting these people with the help/meds they need. Supervised visitation and drug/psychotherapy should be used to keep the family together if poss
continued
(posted by
riley6
, Oct. 16, 2010 11:46 pm)
b/c their parents either scare the pants off the good relatives or they threaten them. I DO know what it's like to be in foster care. I won't go into that here. I also know what it's like to help the kids in foster care heal from the abuse done by their supposed family members. There are no simple answers. I agree with you that DSS workers need to be accountable for the choices they make for the kids. The judges, lawyers, GALs, CASAs also have to be accountable. Kids ARE the ones who lose out.
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