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Let's not wink at 'rape lite'--or blame the victim
Acquaintance Rape: The Common Story and the Real Story

Date published: 11/12/2010

I'm sorry but this does not sound like a violent rape. She knew the attacker and in most cases when the attacker is known it is a situation of very poor and a total lack of good judgment on all parties involved. With sobering second thoughts about things that have happened can come the claims of rape.

--Free Lance-Star blog response to a reported acquaintance rape on the UMW campus

REACTIONS LIKE this are all too common and represent an implicit story. They were drinking at a party. She seemed to like him; he seemed to like her. At some point, they ended up alone together. Somebody kissed somebody.

Then, there are two versions in the continued story.

Story No. 1 is that she didn't want to go further, and he did. She didn't say no, and he didn't ask. He thought she was consenting and the whole thing went bad because of miscommunication. Since communication involves two people, each holds some responsibility for this unfortunate unwanted sex.

Still, it's not "violent rape" (which I assume means that there was the presence of a weapon and/or injury), it's no big deal, and we don't have to have any sympathy for this "victim."

Story No. 2 is even more troubling. She was a little drunk, had sex with him willingly, and later regretted her behavior. Maybe she has a boyfriend and he would find out that she cheated on him. Maybe her friends would think less of her knowing that she had sex with someone she barely knew. So rather than be thought a slut or face the wrath of her boyfriend, she decides to report to police that this guy she hooked up with actually committed a felony for which he could spend years in prison.

In this version of the story, all of the responsibility goes to the "victim," who is all too willing to destroy a man's life and reputation so that she can save face.


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