First of all, there's the television, also known as the silent killer if you keep it on mute. A study published by the American Heart Association in 2010 concluded that watching TV increased the risk of death by 11 percent.

That was largely due to the elevated suicide rate among people forced to watch "Jersey Shore," but it's still pretty alarming.

So to save yourself, you turn off the TV and fix something to eat. But be careful how you do it.

Everyone knows that a steady diet of fried food can lead to a chronic thick Southern accent, but apparently grilling is risky, too.

According to the American Cancer Society, grilling meat can release two potentially carcinogenic compounds: polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs) and heterocyclic amines (HCAs), which are fancy chemist words for "substances akin to what you might inhale if you sucked on a city-bus exhaust pipe."

Also, there's that pronunciation choking hazard again.

You could commit yourself to a monosyllabic existence and take solace in the fact that you and your loved ones don't really need words to communicate your feelings.

But be sure you don't kiss each other either. According to the Academy of General Dentistry, couples can share more than 500 different disease-causing germs and viruses with just one kiss.

Nothing says "I love you" quite like a lip-ravaging communicable disease.

Then again, all that running up and back to the doctor will put miles on your pedometer, which I'm told goes a long way toward preventing heart disease.

Plus, the faster you move, the harder it is for bugs to settle in your hair.

Edie Gross: 540/374-5428
Email: egross@freelancestar.com