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Lowly toilet paper, repurposed as cash?


Date published: 5/6/2012

Lowly toilet paper, repurposed as cash?

While cooking my ritual Sunday morning omelet the other day, the solution to our nation's economic woes hit me like a bolt of lightning from above.

We should just call toilet paper money! Think about it: There's lots of toilet paper everywhere. Everybody has enough. It really does grow on trees, and it is renewable. It comes on a roll so it would be easy to dispense to pay for things. ("Potatoes are on sale this week at 14 $heets/lb.")

It frequently comes in 1,000-$heet rolls so it would be easy to pay for big-ticket items. "How many rolls did you pay for your new Rolls-Royce?"

I got so excited about the elegance of my solution that I nearly burned my toast. I couldn't wait to tell my wife and impress her with my economic wisdom.

Wouldn't you know it? When I laid out my plan, she reminded me that the president and Tim Geithner already thought of that.

Gordon C. Alling Jr.

Spotsylvania