Return to story
BY THE REAPER'S PETARD
During the 2008 presidential election, some Democratic stalwarts, attempting to disguise their partisan mania as civic high-mindedness, gravely counseled a vote against John McCain on the ground that the war hero's history of melanoma--a potentially fatal skin cancer--made it doubtful that he would finish his term if elected.
At last report, Sen. McCain was in the pink. The law of statistical probability, meanwhile, suggests that some of the stout partymen who predicted his untimely demise are themselves now pushing up daisies.
THIS JUST IN
The GOP had a hard time winning at the polls in 2012. How hard? It's been reported that a Democrat has been elected to chair the Republican National Committee.
It's a joke--we think.
SO WHO'S A MINORITY NOW?
For much of this decade, certain radio blatherskites on the right have hammered illegal immigrants--and they haven't cared much about who else's fingers got mashed. For example, Laura Ingraham, who makes fingernails on a blackboard sound like the Brandenberg Concertos, helped rouse the rabble that sank President George W. Bush's enlightened immigration reform plan.
Meanwhile, sundry nativist GOP politicians (including some locally we helped retire) did their best to make things uncomfortable for those who don't look like their grandpappy's America--even if they were born here.
Congratulations, patriots! You reduced the GOP's share of the Latino vote from 44 percent in 2004 to 27 percent this Nov. 6. Somehow most Hispanic Americans got the idea that the GOP didn't like people like them.
Writes former Reagan White House lawyer Alan Raul in The Washington Post: "Republicans must make a habit of deferring to reality. Millions of undocumented workers and families in the United States are not going away. On immigration, the fates will lead the willing and drag the unwilling."