I have decided that I want to be a meteorologist. I would love to have a job in which I can cause otherwise sane people to commit all sorts of irrational acts. I would love to watch people panic and run to the grocery store to empty it of its supply of milk, toilet paper, and other necessities. I would laugh as school systems needlessly send students home early because of rain, having parents scramble to get off work so they can pick up their kids. I would demand that Lowe's and Home Depot give me a share of the profits they make off the sale of generators and other snow equipment.
And don't get me started on traffic mayhem. Nothing would bring me greater pleasure than to have schoolchildren (and teachers, too, for that matter) get their hopes up on the possibility of a school cancellation, only to have their spirits crushed the next day when nothing materializes. I would love to have a job in which I can be wrong most of the time and somehow still hold onto my job.
And the best part of it all is that people would still love me as they can't wait for the next day's forecast.
Copyright 2013 The Free Lance-Star Publishing Company.