Padres Diamondbacks Baseball

His Arizona Diamondbacks teammates got a laugh when Christian Walker got the pie in the face during a Sept. 28 TV interview, but such on-air shenanigans don’t impress the columnist.

SINCE ABOUT ALL the buzz around Washington this week involved sports, let’s continue the trend in today’s column.

It was such a big week that Jay Gruden’s firing commanded bigger headlines than Donald Trump’s impeachment inquiry.

Not to worry. Trump will tweet something that will get him back on the front page.

This is the time of year when sports networks put microphones on one or two players to capture “the sounds of the game.”

Occasionally producers get something intelligible out of baseball players, but about all we hear from football players are grunts, growls and extremely incisive phrases like “C’mon man!” or “Let’s go!”

In all the years that I have been watching sports, the only time a participant said anything worth remembering was in the 1970s when NBC put a microphone on then-Dodgers third base coach Tommy Lasorda.

Pete Rose was playing third base and Lasorda ribbed him to no end. That was entertaining.

During the baseball playoffs, the woman reporter on the field always does an interview with each manager between innings. I suppose the game’s producer thinks these managers are going to give away some secret strategic plan for handling the opposition and winning the game.

Really? Does anyone think the manager is going to give away secrets in a game where players and managers are so paranoid that they cover their mouths with their hands and gloves so lip readers from the other team can’t figure out what is going on?

The skipper knows the other team has someone monitoring the broadcast and is probably going to feed the reporter some doubletalk to confound the opposition. The public gets a lot of real insight from these interviews.

Why do players spray champagne all over each other in the clubhouse after a big win? It makes no sense. Even a teetotaler like me can understand toasting victory with a glass of champagne, but spraying it all over everybody?

I suppose it is like winning Wimbledon in tennis. The victor, for whatever reason, feels obligated to fall on his back in the middle of the court. That’s kinda strange, too.

Remember in the movie “A League of Their Own,” the female ballplayers had an off-the-field coach to groom and polish their class and manners? Well, Major League Baseball might try coaching its players to be a bit more sophisticated.

While a guy is doing an on-camera interview in the dugout, other players are throwing sunflower seeds on his head. Then the hero of the game gets interviewed on the field and some idiot slaps a pie of shaving cream in his face.

Hey! This may be this kid’s only moment of fame. His parents and grandparents and all his friends are watching and he gets shaving cream in the face? Pretty childish, if you ask me.

MLB also needs to explain to players, managers and coaches that you don’t rip the headset off the instant an interview is over. The reporter is trying to close out the segment and the player jerks the microphone off his head and starts to walk away. Standing there for 10 more seconds isn’t going to cause your team to lose the game.

Grammar! Does anyone in the sports world know anything at all about grammar? Did these people never take an English class where they learned the difference between singular and plural?

“Chicago won THEIR game today.”

Chicago is singular. “Chicago won ITS game today.”

“Cubs” is plural.

“The Cubs won THEIR ballgame.”

I hear this grammatical mistake all the time and I even read it in newspapers. Get with it; learn the difference between singular and plural.

Finally, there is “great.” Every catch is a great one. Every home run is great. Count the number of times you hear great in a baseball broadcast, even a regular season game. You’d think every player and every play belonged in the Hall of Fame.

There you have it. Just a few thoughts to help you through the baseball playoffs and the NFL season.

Happy viewing.

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Donnie Johnston:

djohn40330@aol.com

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